~The MILF Diaries!!!~

The new stuff!

2007-01-28T15:04:00.000-05:00

I am trying to re-organize all my sites and this one still, for some reason, gets hits!! Plus, it's my journal for a very crazy and different time of my life, so I want to keep it...

I still keep a journal on MySpace. It's private but I let everyone in. This way I just know who is reading it. At least I think I do.

Click here for my MySpace.
Click here for my show MySpace.

:)

Free & Diaperless!

2006-01-16T12:57:00.000-05:00

Allright, here's where I start asking questions.

How on EARTH do I get my daughter to LEAVE HER DIAPER ON?

She's now learned how to undress herself and remove her diaper. I tried putting a onesie on her under her jammies so that she has to take the pants off and THEN unsnap the onesie and THEN undo the diaper... but smarty pants can still do it. I've tried putting her in long jammies that zip up, with onesie underneath... she's still strippin!

I'm working on potty training her so some days I just let her run around the casa without a diaper on... but this is getting ridiculous. I go to get her up this morning and she's standing there bareass in the crib, and of course there's a wet spot where she peed.

She's CONSTANTLY taking off her diaper and I don't know what to do. It's great she's so interested in being potty trained, but this is getting ridiculous!!!!!!

Any tips?

Anyone else's kids do this?

It's 3am I must be...

2006-01-10T03:47:00.000-05:00

Lonely?

Nah, that's what you thought I was getting at though, right? Thanks to Rob Thomas.

I miss my Mad Season CD. I haven't bought a CD in a LONG time but I really think I need to go pick that up... I listened to Rob's new CD a bunch of times since I just got it from work, and it made me want to hear some of the Mad Season songs... don't really know why.

I just started re-reading this post and I had to come make a little disclaimer so the Rob fan I know and love doesn't remind me that 3am was not on the Mad Season CD... I know it wasn't. I just used that title and then thought of Mad Season bc it's my favorite MB20 CD...

Maybe it's because it's winter and that's my mad season... everything is just really nutty right now.

I have to figure something out real soon and that's probably why I am up at 3am.

I've also made my New Year's Resolutions I swore I wouldn't make... they just kind of came to me over the last few days. Not really as a result of the new year... it wasn't like I sat down and thought "I need to resolve to do something different this year..." I just kind of started making some changes and getting on the ball with some stuff and realized I've made some resolutions without even thinking about it.

The first one seems simple but for me it's a challenge... and that is to keep my frigging apartment clean. I am SO much happier, focused, confident, and on top of things when my place is clean. I wish I had money to get curtains and decorate, but I don't, so instead of just letting the place look like crap all the time I've decided that no matter how tired I am or no matter how much I think "nobody else sees the place but me and Kyla" I'm going to clean up every night before I go to bed. I've done that the last several days and it's working...

I am also in the process of figuring out a budget for myself... I have NO idea how to manage my money... and after talking to a friend about how much I take home and how much my bills are, I realized I should be able to afford more things than I thought...

*****

So next thing that's on my mind. I've thought about someone a lot recently... and tonight as I was looking at a "fascinating" - well to me anyway - website I haven't seen for a while I saw a picture, several pictures, of this person and I just got this sad feeling.

I won't get into who this person is... it is not anyone I ever had a romantic relationship with by any means... but it is someone who is very special to me who influenced my life a lot, without whom I NEVER would have been in radio, and for reasons that I do not understand this person doesn't talk to me anymore.

The last time we emailed was probably 2 and a half years ago... and he basically just told me in so many words he didn't want to talk to me anymore. I was - and still am - really confused. I kind of get it, but at the same time - I don't. And it hurts me a lot to feel like I can't just call or email once in a while to say whats up... This person always had words of wisdom and made me laugh... so hard I used to seriously pee my pants... and now I look at a picture and wonder if it would be OK if I reached out.

Do I do it - or respect his wishes? Does he just ignore my existance or does he keep tabs on me and check up, ask about me, read my bs websites and stuff, to see how I am doing? I don't know why it is important to me - but it is.

********

So another dilemma I have right now is how to determine when it is OK to open up to someone... be it a friend, a family member, whoever... There are a lot of people with whom we maintain "surface" relationships, then there are those few - and actually for me I can happily say I think I have many - people you can really pour your heart out to, show your weakness, tell your secrets to, and have them care and love you and want to help you anyway... I'm kind of stuck with something right now and maybe that's why I'm up at 3am.

Actually, now it's 3:30 and I'm still not tired.

My eyes hurt. Why is it that these days my eyes hurt when I'm NOT wearing my contacts? It's really odd to me.

So the show went really well tonight. I felt a little bit out of my element since I am used to being silly and just blurting out whatever... tonight we had a really interesting talk about sex... but since we were using all the clinical terms and saying dirty words on the radio, I had to keep a straight face and not giggle at anything. Luckily, I didn't have to push that yellow button. My boss was happy with it... It was my first time really handling a "serious" subject matter on the talk show.

Well, I guess "female orgasm" isn't serious, but in order to get away with talking about it the way we did, we had to keep it very technical and "educational" and walk that line... I'll be honest, I was nervous for the first time in a while on the air tonight. Kind of an unsettling feeling but when my boss IM'd me and told me it sounded great, I felt good.

There's more on my mind but I need to clear it instead of continuing to blab... I'm going to play some mindless solitaire and hopefully go to bed by 4. I have a long challenging day ahead of me... and unfortunately the world doesn't stop turning...

Peace.... peace....

Ex-Tra Cirricular Activities.

2005-12-16T14:11:00.000-05:00

LOL NOT REALLY.

So let me throw this one at you... because this is the MILF Diaries and I'm sure some of you MILFs have dealt with similar situations...

Yesterday my ex, as most of you know him "TK", flew in to Hartford to pick up our spectacular 20 month old daughter Kyla.

His flight got delayed so he ended up missing his return flight... the next one wasn't for 5 hours, and if you've ever been to Bradley "International" Airport, you know it's a drag.

It is, as he called it, "a glorified bus station"...

The airport as a whole is a small, stale little place... Terminal A has a few places to eat and a little store... Terminal B, where he was, has a snack cart. That's it. That's all. A snack cart.

It was lunch time and instead of me dropping Kyla off to spend 5 long hours in a desolate airport, we decided I'd pick him up and we'd go to lunch and do some shopping. Why the HELL NOT?

That didn't sit well with his current girlfriend. I felt bad for him because it was just unnecessary hassle and drama... "Why are you not considering my feelings?" and that kind of crap... from a 26 year old woman...

Hi, how about you consider the feelings of our daughter who was off the wall with excitement because she knew for a few brief hours she had her mommy and daddy together? How about giving credit that two people who probably would have killed each other had we remained in a relationship can now get along, be friends, and spend time together for the benefit of our child?

Been there, done that, ended it, it's over... not going back. I should be the LEAST of this girl's worries. I've really let go of it, what continues to bother me is that she needs to really accept the fact that he and I will always talk, have a bond, and be in contact with each other because of our child, and no amount of wishing we hated each other is going to change it.

I am so thankful to have such a great guy in my life... he gave me a little crap for it in jest, and he just GETS IT. We're adults, we have a child together, at certain times we will spend time together for her sake, and that's just the end of it.

I put it out there on the air last night... "Should my ex be in the doghouse because he spent the afternoon with me when his flight was delayed?" The consensus was "NO!" I thought maybe I'm being insensitive by going to lunch and dragging him to Kohl's with me so he didn't have to sit in an airport all day chasing Kyla around... but then I realized - it's her problem, not mine.

I'm happy with my life now. I like that things are civil and friendly between me and TK, and I appreciate that the new person in my life can understand that it's best for everyone involved if we get along and do what is best for our daughter.

Most people get that. Right?

:)

D

Oh the weather outside is f...

2005-12-13T19:20:00.000-05:00

fucking cold.

Pardon my french in these last two posts... Did you ever notice how we blame the French when we swear?

Anyway, it's cold. Like so cold that I got into my car, of course didn't wait for it to heat up, started driving, got a phone call to do a gossip update, started rambling on about Jessica Simpson hooking up with Adam Levine from Maroon 5, and MY FACE STARTED TO FREEZE.

Yes, my lip and nose started to freeze. I couldn't get my words out right because my face was so freaking cold. I HATE COLD.

I HATE COLD I HATE COLD I HATE COLD.

Then of course I start to fall back into my on-again-off-again-by-the-hour depressed mood when I thought about how this cold is going to last for another 3 to 4 months. Great.

I shopped online today. There's something sickeningly gratifying about online shopping. Like, I spent money I shouldn't have spent, but for some reason it's just easier to do it when you're online. You're not paying cash, writing a check, or swiping a card... you're just picking what you want and typing it in and clicking OK. Then it shows up in the mail 3-5 days later. It's fun!

More shopping nonsense... Am I the only one who goes to the mall to shop for others and finds myself wanting EVERYTHING I SEE FOR ME!!!! On the rare occasion I go shopping in NEED of something for myself, with the mission to PURCHASE SOMETHING FOR MYSELF, I don't find anything. When I go at Christmas I want every sweater, pair of pants, tee-shirt, body lotion, set of pajamas at Victoria's Secret, etc. I am one selfish beeeotch. I didn't buy anything for myself though.

I don't know what to get for anyone this year, not even my own daughter. I have no idea what toys she will want. There's so freaking many, and she's not old enough to drill into my head for 3 months "mommy I want this" so I'm left to fend for myself - and everyone else who is buying for her and asking what to get for her... and I feel incompetent. Like I don't know my child well enough to know what she'd like to play with.

We were in Wal-Mart Sunday night and I took her to the toy section and tried to take note of what she ran for... some piece of junk cheap thing I'd never buy for her LOL... so that killed that. I have no idea.

She's going to spend a week with her daddy, so that's when I'm hitting Toys R Us. Even though she's too young to get the whole Santa Crock, I've got to get into the habit of shopping without her now.

Tonight's the company Christmas party. To be honest, since I work nights I didn't even realize it until I went to the ladies room and saw a co-worker getting all dolled up... then it hit me, I'm missing a party because I work nights. Kinda sucks.

Anyway, that's all for this blog for the day. I sat inside, shopped online, played with Kyla, watched Animal Planet, cooked chicken nuggets, tater tots, and carrots, and didn't shower all day. That was my day. That's why it isn't too interesting, but that's the life of a Pseudo-Stay-At-Home-Mommy (who hates the cold) in the middle of winter.

Oh wait, it's not the middle - it's just beginning.

Zoloft anyone?

f*ck santa

2005-12-11T12:33:00.000-05:00

Getting a kid's picture taken with Santa Claus has to be one of the least fun activities ever.

It isn't that I don't love the excitement she'll feel next year or the year after that when she knows she's going to sit on the lap of the dirty fat old man who is going to bring her presents I can't afford because he's been looking down on her from somewhere up in the North Pole and she's been a good girl. No, it isn't that at all.

It's the MOTHER F*CKING line I have to wait in at the mall in order to get her picture taken to have memories of the joyous events.

Then in about 8 or 9 years she'll know the dudes a phony and I subjected my kid to the lap of a dirty old fat man for nothing.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is - the mall in my area - and probably the one in yours - needs to come up with a far more efficient way to run the Picture with Jolly Old Saint Fat Man line.

My friend Jen and I took our daughters on Thursday afternoon. We're thinking we're smart mommies taking the kids during the day on a weekday while the line isn't too long.

The line wasn't even that long. The problem was, even at about 20 people deep, the line didn't frigging move.

So Kyla takes off running and I decide to just follow her to the other size of the oversized snow globe and find out what the freak is going on with the line.

I approach the little roped off Santa area... and realized... what what to my wondering eyes should appear...

But a frigging 4 year old boy standing in front of Santa with a nig big fat piece of construction paper READING HIS LIST TO SANTA WHILE HIS DOTING MOTHER HELPS HIM GET THROUGH THE LIST.

I kid you not. This was no "sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want in 30 seconds or less while we snap your picture and make our $29.99".

I didn't even know what to say. I was furious. Well, not furious, more like annoyed and disturbed.

I guess maybe because I've been to so many "move it along" meet & greets with celebrities I am used to a fast-moving line and you get your 30 seconds to shake hands, get a quick autograph, say hi, and walk away.

This is how they need to run the Santa Claus thing.

Needless to say, we didn't get our pictures done with Santa. I was turning red just thinking about this kid reading his letter, and he was probably only on item two trying to put his "Hooked on Phonix" skills in action...

Kyla isn't old enough to even know what was going on, she was just pissed that I made her get in her stroller so I could wheel her into Baby Gap and look at all the clothes I can't afford for her this year.

But my friend's daughter was upset, she's 3.

So I went on the air - of course - and bitched about it, twice. Once at 7 when I first went on the air... without mentioning the name of the mall because I've learned over the course of my "career" not to name names.... and then again at 10 when we started The Girly Spot.

Then I realized. This was one of the things I used to vent about in my own little way here on the public MILF Diaries... I want to start doing this one again and not make people sign up for it... but not post much private stuff at all. That way there's really no room for nastiness because really, I hate the mean comments I get.

I just like to write and I like people to relate to or enjoy what I write. Sometimes I spell things wrong, make typos, or grammatically incorrect sentences. But for the most part I think I am a pretty good writer and I'm going to start doing more of it.

I got bitten by a bird today. More on that later.

MySpace Blog Stuff...

2005-08-12T17:49:00.000-05:00

I'm now letting some more people into the MySpace blog.

If you've been asking me to get in for a while and haven't heard back... I stopped letting people in basically because it's a pain in the arse process and I felt I had enough readers.

If you would like access to this blog... here's the deal.

1. YOU MUST - I REPEAT YOU MUST - send me a MySpace message AND INCLUDE THE EMAIL ADDRESS YOU USED TO SIGN UP FOR MYSPACE. PUT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS AS THE FIRST THING IN THE MESSAGE TO ME, OTHERWISE I WILL NOT ADD YOU, and I WILL NOT RESPOND. Basically all I do is copy and paste the email address into a search, find you, and then add you... for some reason that's the only way to do it. Failure to follow these instructions means YOU WON'T BE ADMITTED!!!

I hate to be a bitch - but it's a pain as it is to be clicking all over the place to add people, so make it as easy for me as possible.

2. I want PARTICIPATING BLOG MEMBERS. I am now using the blog to kind of "test" subject matter for my show... so I would really like comments/feedback and participation. If you don't participate, you don't need to be reading it. Right now I am gradually cleaning up my list of people, and adding new people who WANT TO PARTICIPATE.

3. Actually, there's no 3. Just follow rules 1 and 2 and you should be all set.

I'll have a good post for you soon....

D

A Musical Post.

2005-08-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

Can we talk about Tommy Lee being all Rob Thomas-esque with his new single and video? I'll be honest... I hadn't heard it until last night... actually, early this morning. I wake up around 4am and the TV is still on VH-1 and I'm liking the song... and then I realize it's Tommy Lee rolling around in the video and I'm like NO WAY.

Tommy Lee has a poppy-rock single and I LIKE IT. So bizarre.

Now on to the hate. Hilary Duff's new song. Heard that one last night and wanted to drive my car into a tree it was so bad. At first I thought it must be Ashlee Simpson's new song because it was all about how hard it is to be famous and then going out on a Saturday night and whatnot... and it just sounded like C-R-A-P... I actually thought it must be some God-awful new artist that the radio station got sucked into playing for whatever shady reason... but no. It was Hilary Duff.

What is even more disturbing about the new 3 minute piece of puke from her is that her man from Good Charlotte apparently helped her out with her new CD and stuff...

If this kid helped with this song he needs to have his wanker removed immediately because there is NOTHING cool, hip, punk, rock, or GOOD about it.

Sorry to be mean, but that's the truth.

Now, Mr. Brightside is STILL my favorite. I turn it up and jump around in the studio and the cleaning people catch me through the glass window. They must think I am nuts but whatever - I am.

The new Train song is really good too... but for some odd reason the lyrics - and just the title of the song "Get To Me" - remind me of that Oleta Adams song from 1991... the one that every radio station in America turned into a tribute to the military. "I don't care how you get here... just, get here if you can." New Train song - good.

New Sheryl Crow song - not so good. And I always want to like her but not feeling it. Good is good and bad is bad. At least now that John Mayer has writer's block he's asking for help... not just writing dumb lyrics.

Actually, John Mayer hasn't run out of lyrics... he just can't come up with anymore MUSIC to go with the lyrics. I'm sure he's still got plenty of funny faces in his bag o'tricks though.

OK, rant over.

Me

BURN YOUR COSMO!!!

2005-08-05T13:13:00.000-05:00

OMG... I am NEVER READING COSMO AGAIN!

I will be honest, I don't pick up Cosmo very often... It's a pretty obnoxious magazine to begin with - which is why I don't usually read it - but last night I figured I'd see if there was anything in there to use on the show...

What I discovered is that Cosmo is the most DEPRESSING thing a girl could read.

The issue in question is "The Hot Issue" with Kate Hudson on the cover... The article about Kate Hudson is about the only thing I enjoyed reading.

Basically, this issue reveals two very harsh, basic truths about men, women, and relationships.

1. The woman must constantly be improving her personality, appearance, self, and sexual techniques in order to please a man.

2. No matter how good she gets at said techniques, HE WILL STILL CHEAT ON HER!

*******

Page 68: How to WOW him after your first sexual encounter.

1. Woman must get her ass out of bed before the man wakes up and "freshen" herself because he doesn't find dragon breath or bed head or smeared mascara attractive.

2. Woman must feed her man - and run out for bagels because he won't have anything in the house - because he'll be famished after banging her all night long.

3. Get the F out of his place after breakfast because he doesn't want to hang out with your smelly ass all day... Cosmo does say you are allowed to ask him for a ride though - isn't that nice?

4. Tell him you had fun. Yup, make sure you stroke his ego even more after he used you for sex all night.

Page 111: How to get your man to "Chill With You"

All I can say is that if you're with a guy who doesn't willingly hang out with you, he's not a guy you should be with. If you require Cosmo's tips on how to get him to chill with you, he probably doesn't really want to chill with you anyway.

In a nutshell, Cosmo says you need to "talk in sexy code", "give him a time frame" so he doesn't think he's stuck chilling with you ALL DAY because that would just be awful for him, and of course there's the do things that HE wants to do because why on earth would a man do something that YOU enjoy?

Page 113-115: How to be the Best Sex He's Ever Had!

Not a bad article, really. They polled 5000 men about sex, what they find sexy, what turns them on, turns them off, what part of their body needs more attention - their BALLS OF COURSE - and how to act after the fact...

3 full pages of percentages and quotes from men... all designed so that women can please them longer, better, faster, more often, etc...

Then we come to this...

Page 176-179: The Naughty Secrets He's Keeping From You

This is all about men and how they cheat, lie, think about other women while they are with you, had STD's, and pick up hookers.

Seriously... after you just read all about how to "behave" after you first sleep with a guy, read all the ways you need to dress to please him, and make a mental note to give certain icky parts of his body more attention next time... Cosmo lets you know that he's still a lying cheating pig!!!!!

"I have a rule. If I cheat, it's gotta be intercourse. Anything short of that isn't worth the risk."

"On those rare cases when I've cheated, I've planned it as carefully as a bank heist. I know when she's going to be out of town, I've established an airtight alibi, I've chosen a location where no one knows my face, and so on. I haven't been nabbed yet."

"When I was really little I used to masturbate by rubbing our cat's fur over my penis..."

******

On that note, I'm done.

Cosmo sucks. Good thing I picked up a fat ice cream sandwich and some Smartfood to chow down on while reading.

:)

D

Smelly Celly!

2005-08-04T12:25:00.000-05:00

I am really annoyed with my cell phone right now. I can not find my charger ANYWHERE. When I was staying at my brother's I had it plugged into the wall in his room... when I left, I KNOW I took it with me... I KNOW I did... and he told me it's not at his place... so I SWORE it was at my friend Stephanie's but she and her man have searched the place for it and it isn't there...

I thought maybe I'd packed it in one of my bags, but I've literally emptied every single one of them, gone through every little side pocket, zipper pouch, nook and cranny... and still NOTHING. No charger.

My phone's been living on a tiny bit of juice from the car charger for the 30 minutes to and from work... and of course blabbermouth that I am, I talk on it the whole time I'm in the car so it doesn't even end up charging!

I did talk to Sprint the other day about something else... and they told me that since I've been a loyal Sprint customer since 2002 (in other words, since they've forced me to sign contracts for the last 3 years every time I've changed my plan) I am entitled to a brand new phone for $50... and they usually cost about $150... I'm thinking I should just head over to Sprint and get my new phone... but I really don't want to spend the $50 right now.

Speaking of phones and how much the one I have sucks, a friend must have text messaged me at some point last night... and it came through at 4:42am!!! I know one of my friends was doing the morning show where he works today, so when the thing woke me up at that ridiculous hour I thought it was HIM f'ing with me trying to wake me up.... but no, it was someone else who I KNOW was not texting me at 4:42am... so obviously the message got tied up in the Sprint whatever and just decided to arrive at 4:42am...

Then I couldn't go back to sleep!!!

OK now that I have rambled about absosmurfly nothing for the last 15 minutes (bc that's how long it's taken me to type that junk)...

Can I just be really excited about the fact that I SQUEEZED... and I MEAN SQUEEZED... as in laid down on the bed and yanked on zipper squeezed.... into a pair of Bebe jeans I wore before I was pregnant... Well, actually, I found a Marino's Martini Bar receipt in the jeans from August 27, 2003... so I was about 5 weeks pregnant at the time... you know, I didn't even think to see if there was alcohol on the bill... probably not - unless it was right before I found out I was with child in which case I probably did have a drink LOL... Either that or if there is booze on the tab I might have bought drinks for some other people... I did do that sometimes.

But anyway, they are still too tight to actually WEAR OUT... but hopefully once I lose 2 or 3 more lbs they'll fit!! They are super cute too... and I also fit into a pair of Express jeans that I bought post-prego but haven't been able to wear often because my weight has gone back up a lot... now they fit better than ever. I know this is boring stupid Lindsay Lohan-ish weight talk, but I'm happy and I feel so much better now that I am almost back to my original size. It's only taken 16 months!!!

I think that's enough. Time to hang by the pool for a bit... then I need to get to the radio station and do some work on my MySpace... and some showprep... and schedule movers which is going to be fun!!!

OH, let me mention this... the statcounter that I use for danasdirt.com for free... yeah, they emailed me. I have way too many hits. They don't want to count my stats anymore because I have over 14,000 visitors a day... and yesterday, I had almost 20,000 visitors. Not hits, VISITORS!!!

I also need to figure out how to start making money off that ish!!!

Peace out, have a nice day, and thanks for reading The MILF Diaries!

Me

NIPS or ITZ?

2005-08-03T13:13:00.000-05:00

Which do you prefer? Cheese Nips or Cheez-Its? I used to be NIPS all the way... but lately I've found myself choosing ITS over NIPS.... mostly because ITS are more commonly found in vending machines and that's been one of my main sources of nourishment lately... if you consider Famous Amos cookies and Smartfood "nourishment"...

Subway rules too. It's like the only place you can get something quick that isn't fried and salted enough to clog your arteries upon digestion.

I laid out for a little bit today but it is HOT. The sun feels so good for a little while but once I start to sweat like a pig and feel all heated dizzy I come in... plus I do NOT want to burn and peel... and I'm trying not to get skin cancer too, although I know the best way to prevent that is to not go in the sun AT ALL.

Why is it that something that makes you feel good and look good - the sun - can be so dangerous? Ain't that the way... same with booze... not good for you, but makes you feel good and look good... well I should say, makes OTHERS LOOK BETTER... you get my drift beer goggles!

Do you ever wonder if you are annoying? Like sometimes I wonder if I annoy the crap out of people... friends included. Yesterday was one of those days I just felt like I was annoying EVERYONE I talked to! I KNOW I can be annoying sometimes... but it sucks when you know others are annoyed too. I wish people would just be like "Yo, you are annoying me, can we talk later?" instead of just shooting out that vibe....

Oh, and haters... spare me the "you are really annoying Dana" comments and whatnot because if I am so damn annoying then WHY ARE YOU HERE? Thanks, just had to disclaim that... I know some people find me to be EXTREMELY ANNOYING but they're addicted to me like I'm some sort of heroin!

Oh well... I'm going to chow on my nips and diet coke and I'll holler on this blog later.

Hello... is anyone reading this???

2005-08-02T22:34:00.000-05:00

It's funny I started posting to this blog again, but now that my life is fairly free of drizama, it doesn't seem like anyone is even reading!

Super funny... at least the dirt site is getting over 14,000 visitors a day!!! I swear to the baby Jesus, I'm getting TONNNNNNS of visitors to that site... I need to figure out how to make some dinero!

So living in a sweet hotel has been fun... but now it's starting to get a little cumbersome... like I want a couch to sit on... and mostly I want to cook something for myself and not have to roll out of bed and go somewhere in order to eat! A few more weeks... Don't get me wrong, the place where I am staying is GORGEOUS and they have been really good to me... I just really feel like cooking!!!!!

Does anyone else want to smack someone when they hear the Will Smith song "Switch, turn it over and hit it - ooh lalala..."??? I do. Sorry... I just do.

So we're going to be doing something REALLY fun with my show in a few weeks... I'm really excited. Gotta come up with lots of fun topics for it... any ideas? Feel free to share!!! I mean, I guess that's my job... but I would love to hear your ideas...

So I found out that one of my friends lives about 20 minutes from here!! She works on the radio in Springfield, MA... yes - a radio chick like me... so we're going to hang on Sunday I think. She warned me that she and her roomate are a little crazy... I think I can handle it ;)

Have you seen the Slave to Target website? It's super funny... you should check it out if you haven't seen it... www.slavetotarget.com...

I gotta jump. Time to go home and SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP 'til noon!

Me

Copy and Paste...

2005-08-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

OK since SO MANY people have been emailing me through MySpace asking for access to the private blog I'll give you a little taste of what's inside...

NOTHING SPECIAL!

Really... nothing much. I just once in a while use that as a place to vent... there are honestly not that many people who have access to it, and I've had to ban some people from it... and I have a feeling there might be one or two people who do talk about what's in there so I don't share all that much anyway.

At this point I've realized the best thing to do when I have something really personal to talk about - I should call a friend! I don't need to share all this stuff with the world... but I keep the blogs going with other random stuff just for fun. The really deep, the really private, the issues, or anything I might say that could and will be used against me - I keep to myself for the most part.

Here's what I posted there today - so you know you're not missing much!

******

A morning of TLC...

Yeah like as if I got some Tender Loving Care...

I watched those silly TLC shows all morning. Perfect Proposal, Second Chance, Makeover Story... GREAT FUN!

But that show Second Chance made me want to do something REALLY bad... that I can't do... it has NOTHING to do with any previous relationship, but it made me think of someone I care about a lot and wonder if I should reveal my feelings... but I won't. I can't. Not now anyway... I have too much going on, I'd rather NOT face the rejection...

I am about to go lay out for a while. Yesterday was very tiring... and today I have a meeting at work at 4:30 so I might as well get some time with the sun.

Allow me to brag a bit - I've lost a LOT of weight over the last few months... like without even really trying. I think the combination of stress, being REALLY busy, not having much money to spend on food, and living out of my car/a hotel without constant snacks at my disposal, snorting coke, purging, and running 30 miles a day on the treadmill... I've just not been pigging out like I used to...

My arse is still bigger than it used to be, but my tummy has slimmed down a lot and I finally feel good about myself physically... getting a tan doesn't hurt either!

Oh I was kidding about the snorting, purging, and running... but everything else is true. I just figured it would be funny to toss that shit in there to catch you off guard.

OK enough of that... I'm loving life... just miss my baby girl. I talked to her this morning. I just have to keep my emotions about the whole thing in check because if I even allowed myself to go there I'd be a mess... and right now is a time for being TOGETHER and moving forward.

Later!

Me

******

There it is... Peace!

Dr. Scholls...

2005-08-01T16:06:00.000-05:00

What do you think about the fact that Dr. Scholl's are back? I am SO TEMPTED to get a pair... because I think they are cute and I love the clanky noise they make... but I'm not sure. I don't want the flip flop types with the rubber soles... I want the wooden ones. Summer is half over though... I don't need any more shoes, but they are so cute and I LOVED my Dr. Scholl's when I was a kid!

So things are GREAT in Hartford... Things are falling into place... I am having so much fun doing my show and getting to know people... I guess the whole everything happens for a reason deal is true, although it's taken me a while to figure it all out!

I just updated my MySpace profile with the station logo and stuff... might as well pimp it out for a bit! I couldn't match the pink in the logo exactly though, I was getting frustrated so I just settled with a close match... I'm sure you've seen it already though!

I really love the new BEP song!! I can't stop listening to it!! We're not playing it yet but I'm rooting for it... and I'm sorry to say this because I love Jon Bon Jovi but his new song is AWFUL. It's like "It's My Life" part 2 and it SUCKS!!!!

Jon Bon Jovi - QUIT WHILE YOU ARE AHEAD!!

I like the new Jason Mraz and the new train too... and there's a new Hootie song! HOOOOOOOOOOTIE!!!

And I don't think I'll ever get sick of Mr. Brightside, I hear it and I turn it up LOUD in my car and bob my head around like a HUGE DORK... but it's so good!!!

So last night in my hotel... I couldn't get the movie thing to work... so they gave me ANOTHER room to watch a movie in! STUPID ME - I FELL ASLEEP!!! I went to a different room, paid $9.99 to watch The Pacifier, and fell asleep 10 minutes into it!!! I am SUCH A LOSER!! I woke up at 11pm, went back to my room, and then watched CSI. I NEVER watch those shows but it sucked me in.

So that's my life in a nutshell right now... just having fun working and stuff. My friends were here yesterday and we went to lunch and then did some shopping... but I was a good girl, I didn't buy anything! Can't shop like I used to... ;)

Thanks for reading.

D

The Hunt for Red October...

2005-07-28T16:59:00.000-05:00

Actually, I'm hunting for an apartment but it will probably be red october before I find one here that meets the following requirements.

1. I like it.
2. I can afford it.

Seriously... add to that it needs to be in pretty close proximity to my work, and it needs to have a w/d hookup, and it needs to be a 2 bedroom, and it needs to not be in the hood...

I looked at FOUR places today... 2 of them I liked. One is too far away... and the other isn't available until Sept. 1... so we'll see. I'm looking at another place tomorrow and I've called about 5 or 6 more.

I got some 96.5 TIC tee-shirts today! Super excited... and I have 2 appearances lined up already!!

Everyone here has been SUPER COOL and they seem to like what I'm doing on the air so that's good... I'm just having fun.

Tonight I'm talking about the new Abercrombie tee-shirts (see the dirt blog)... Paris's engagement ring issues, and Tara Reid being a very smart business woman... or not! And more stuff as it comes to me I guess...

I am so hungry. I have 0 money left. I had to get a new tire and that put me back... and I've just been eating out and driving a LOT over the last few weeks so what I had saved is gone... I just deposited a check today and I get paid in 2 days but it's rough right now until the check clears. It's funny I was just chatting with a friend of mine who works in TV - and he's pretty successful now - but he was like... I know what you mean, I put $2 of gas in my car at a time and lives on cheap pasta for weeks!! So that's how it goes... it's worth it though - I am just happy to be on the air and having fun at my job. All other things will fall into place...

Just in the time I was writing this... I think I might have found a good place to live... my boss here knows people who have a nice 2 family house... we'll see!!

The production guy made these cool drop things for my show... so it's all personalized. I love hearing a voice guy say my name all deep and sexy and sh*t... never had that before lol... radio people will understand.

Anyway, I gotta go... It's been a long day and my teeth are killing me too... I have insurance now just got to find a dentist and get an appointment to get these suckers pulled... anyone got any pliers?

:)

D

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

2005-07-27T16:51:00.000-05:00

OK we are experiencing Tampa-like thunderstorms here in Hartford this afternoon... alarms going off like crazy... stations off the air... engineers running around... It's insane. I am just SO HAPPY I am not on the air yet and by the time I am on at 7 the storms will have passed...

So here's what I'm doing tonight, besides talking smack about famous people...

This guy called me last night while I was on the air and asked me if I was single, blah blah blah... so I humored him and went with all his questions... then I asked how old he is - he's 38... balding with a goatee... so I told him I didn't mind the balding part but the facial hair would have to go...

Then I said something about how it's OK because any time you meat - I mean MEET... whoops, Freudian slip there or WHAT??? - anyway... any time a woman meets a man, HE IS GOING TO NEED WORK. Like, you don't meet a guy and he's just the way you want him right off the bat. They all need to be fixed in some way. For example, I dated this one guy a while back who was really hot, cool guy, wore good shirts, good shoes, cool spikey hair, but he could NOT pick out a pair of hot jeans to SAVE HIS LIFE. He wore Levi's light blue regular jeans. No cargo jeans, nothing fashionable AT ALL.

So tonight I'm going to ask the ladies what they had to "fix" when they met their man... how they did it... if they were successful... like remember on Sex & The City when Charlotte met that hot guy but he SCRATCHED HIS BALLS all the time? Stuff like that. I don't think I can say "scratched his balls" on the radio... but you get my drift.

What about you? Did you have to FIX anything about your man? I feel like I've had a few "projects" in my life but I won't get into those here...

*****

Ahhhh... so onto another subject entirely. Actually, no. I can't write about it here. I'm on the fence about something... but I just won't even go there.

:)

D

First day of work!

2005-07-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

So exciting!! Today's my first day of work!! I'm here getting settled... learning the "clock", getting my key card... this place is secure like Fort Knox... and just hanging out...

I'm totally excited but a little nervous of course... It's been a LONG time since I've been on the radio every night and I just hope people here like me... and hate me... the way they did in Tampa!

So my wisdom teeth are KILLING ME again - I have to get them out... I mean the pain is just RIDICULOUS - anyone got any vicadin? I have no idea how to spell vikadin but you get the point... OW. I've been using anbesol and taking over the counter stuff in large doses, but it still doesn't make it go away. JUST WHAT I NEED!

Then... I discover that my tire is COMPLETELY flat yesterday... beyond just putting some air in... so I had to drop $100 on a new tire before I left to drive down here. At least I had the money and got it taken care of...

I'm staying at this really nice quiet inn here in CT... I have to start looking for an apartment and get all that stuff done. Moving - FUN TIMES!

I had a few glasses of wine last night in my room and just talked on the phone with some friends until my cell died LOL... yeah, I can't find my plug into the wall charger... I have no idea what bag I put it in and I'm not about to go through all of them right now so I just talk on it until it dies, then charge it in the car...

Anyway, that's about all for now. I need to do some stuff here, figure out how to update the website (of course), and figure out what on earth I am going to talk about on the air tonight... as if I'll be at a loss for words ;)

I need a laptop SO bad but it's the last thing I can afford right now.

Peace out!

Me

BACK ON THE RADIO!!!

2005-07-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

It's a done deal, signed, official... I have a new radio show... a new home...

I am going to let you figure it out... :)

I'm SUPER excited... now I just have to get moved... but not before a little shindig in an undisclosed location...

:)

D*ana

Ch-ch-changes!

2005-07-19T13:12:00.000-05:00

Ch-ch-changes...

I will have some news tomorrow... probably in the afternoon.

The next chapter is about to be written...

:)

D

Just when ya think...

2005-07-18T19:27:00.000-05:00

Just when you think life can't get any crazier... it does.

I didn't do anything wrong... no worries there... more of a wrong place wrong time thing... but just my luck nonetheless!!!

My friend and I are going to head over by Fenway and hang out... GO SOX!

D

Ew, it smells.

2005-07-14T11:14:00.000-05:00

The car smells. Remember yesterday I had a coffee spill... yeah, it smells now. It's one of those smells that will remain in my car forever, but soon enough I won't notice it... other people who get in my car will smell the funk... but I won't. Kind of like how smelly people don't know they smell because they can't smell their own odor... but others notice. Same deal. Yuck.

Went out with friends last night. It was fun to catch up.

My eye is all messed up today. I get this funky eye thing sometimes. I see double. I thought it was my contact but I took it out and put it back in and I still have the blur thing going... makes my head all cloudy.

I can't think right today. Not sure why. Just in a funk. Maybe it's from the sour iced coffee dried into the car carper fumes... or something.

Do you ever feel the NEED to talk to someone about something important but you know they are really busy and you just can't bother them... I feel that right now. I can wait, but it sucks!

Holla!

Me

Catching up...

2005-07-13T15:21:00.000-05:00

Last night I went out with a friend... She and I haven't seen each other since before I moved to Tampa 3 years ago. Actually, how weird... it was 3 years ago this summer that I left Boston and ventured away from home to follow a dream...

Anyway, my friend and I had a falling out over some stuff a few months before I left... we didn't talk for a few years... and then about 9 months ago she called to tell me some bad news about a friend of ours from college... and I took advantage of that reconnection to apologize for the way our friendship crumbled... and she apologized... and we made up.

We emailed a few times after that but then life happened again and we lost touch. She actually now lives in the town I grew up in - where I am staying now - so I called her last night just to see how she's doing.

She ended up not having dinner plans so she picked me up and we went out... and she told me - she just found out she's having a baby!!! She actually had said when I called that she was just thinking about me the other day...

So I'm really excited for her and I think this will bring us back to being really good friends again... It's so funny the crap we fought over and the insanity that ruined our friendship... We did "laugh about it" over dinner. Things that seemed so pressing then... now just lame stuff to crack up over... like we can't believe how dumb we were!

Older, wiser, more mature, and now with way more important things to live for...

So tonight I am going out with some radio friends... actually one of them I have not seen since I was an INTERN when I was 13!!! He was just starting his career as well... and now we've both been to a number of places, worked with all kinds of people, and happen to both be back in Boston working for the same company (different stations)... and another radio friend I met when I was working here before Tampa happened to go to high school with this guy... so the 3 of us are going out to catch up.

We are most likely going to end up doing karaoke at the Purple Shamrock... uh oh. Fire up the Eve 6... oh, and actually, that reminds me.. I mentioned a line from a song in my post yesterday and I am racking my brain trying to figure out if it is actually an Eve 6 song... We can live beside the ocean... I don't wanna be your fall back crush anymore... walk right out into a brand new day... We can live beside the ocean...

That is Eve 6 right?

No dumbass... it's Everclear. I got the Eve part right... I always get those 2 bands confused and I like them both.

I HATE when I can't remember stuff.

Peace.

Flat spilled news coffee tires gossip and bikers.

2005-07-13T10:21:00.000-05:00

I have LOTS to say.

The dirt blog is back burner right now because honestly, I can't keep up with it like I was... and no matter what I do, unless there are 100 posts a day with pictures and wit, people will bitch... so F 'em, they get nothing. They can go elsewhere, say I've lost it, whatever... I got other stuff going on :)

So anyway...

I walked out to my car this morning and my tire was FLAT. It loses air... I have to fill it up like once every 10 days or so... but this morning it was REAL flat. I was nervous driving it but I knew I'd make it to the gas station ok. I filled it up and of course got dirt all over my hands and a little speck on my shirt. Oh well.

I am just proud of myself because I am know a skilled tire filler upper!

Then I opt to kill 2 birds with one stone since I was already running late for work... and I get an iced coffee at the gas station store... It was HUGE. Like a MONSTROUS iced coffee. I was so thirsty I started sipping it before I even paid for it... and surprisingly it did not taste like watery sweetened mud.

I get into my car and the cup of iced coffee is so frigging big it doesn't fit right in my cup holder... Usually the Dunkin Donuts big cups fit but this cup was wider and just wasn't digging being cramped in the cup holder... STUPIDLY I just left it there, teetering a little...

Then I pull out of the parking lot.... KER PLUNK!!

Coffee... EVERYWHERE. It fell onto the floor. SPLASH!

All over my frigging pant leg. I've worn a skirt to work the last 2 days... and today I wear pants and BAM, spilled coffee all over the bottom of my pant leg... all over my foot which is still sticky... and a PUDDLE of iced coffee on the floor of my car.

Love it.

So I'm so wicked smaht I put the HEAT ON in the car - all blowing through the bottom vents of course - to dry the pant leg... but I don't think about the fact that there's milk in the coffee mixture that is now seeping into the floor....

I just hope that it does not REEK after sitting in the sun all day.

My first inclination was to go back to my bro's house and change my pants... but I don't have the key... He actually gave it to me last night and I left it on the table this morning... Duh.

Plus, it's just on the cuff of the pants, like the bottom of one leg... so not incredibly noticable. On top of that, I really just don't give a crap about stupid stuff like that. Everyone spills. I'm a klutz. Oh well.

I ended up getting an iced mocha latte at the little coffee shop in this office building... and it's better than the gas station iced coffee anyway!

So that's that.

******

Now for the part about the bikers...

I'm taking this windy back road to work now... and every morning I am faced with the fear of being forced to choose between a head on collision with another car or running spandex wearing bikers off the road.

I remember one time a radio station I was doing work for issued this whole big statement about how we are NOT allowed to ever make fun of, sh*t on, or say ANYTHING remotely mean about bikers... but I no longer am gag ordered and I'm going to GO OFF.

I HATE BIKERS. I know they have a "right to the road" by law.... but honestly, it's just so annoying. As if the road isn't a dangerous enough place... you put yourself on a 10 pound stick of metal with 1 inch tires and ride with a foot of space between you and my 2 ton vehicle??

But you wear a helmet - right? So yeah, you're safe. That helmet is REALLY going to protect you in the case that my car - which might as well be a bulldozer against your 10-speed - hits you. Right.

And if I do hit you... like let's say there's a car coming the other way and NOWHERE for me to go and I hit you.... it's my fault. You fall off your bike in front of my car - I hit you and it's going to be my fault.

Go home and play Frogger if you like to take traffic risks.

******

Now for my rant on gossip and why people are so obsessed with celebrity gossip... It's simple. It is a distraction. There are basically 3 types of news in this world right now... well, in this country anyway.

Bad shit.
Celebrity shit.
Sports shit.

The "news" isn't even news anymore... it's basically a compilation of the worst, most horrible, most unthinkable, heinous, sickening, depressing and despicable things that happened that day. That's all.

How does "reporting" the news that a woman drowned her kids in a tub... or a woman cut another woman's baby out of her womb... or 2 kids beat another kid to death with a crowbar... how is that NEWS??? Why do we all need to know about this??? To be "informed"?

And we learn about all of this stuff just as we sit down at the dinner table with our families... if in fact we are still doing that. GREAT way to set the mood...

I HATE the news. I can't even watch it anymore. I try to keep up with the REAL news - like what is going on in the world... but the "let's report the most sickening worst of humanity stories all in a row" garbage is just too much.

Let's see... would I rather watch Entertainment Tonight and find out about who Brad Pitt is sleeping with... or watch the news and hear about people being bludgeoned to death?

Am I wrong?

End rant, I gotta do some stuff...

Make a Plan B.

2005-07-12T13:34:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard the phrase "something to fall back on"?

Like... having a Plan B.

I am one of those people who has gone through life with NO PLAN B.

I want Plan A.

I want what I want... and I pretty much put my eggs in that basket and work for Plan A... I never really stopped to think about having a Plan B because why have 2nd best when you want the best?

I'm starting to rethink this... I've done it in all aspects of life - with romance, with career... Taken leaps of faith on people and things I've wanted for myself... and just set forward on a path towards getting what I want - PLAN A - and never really worrying about the backup because settling just isn't in me... but yeah, I'm starting to rethink this.

Having a Plan B doesn't mean you can't strive for what you really want... it just means that if things don't go your way, you'll have something to fall back on... It means that if you screw up along the way and Plan A breaks down - you've still got Plan B to keep you going... keeping some eggs in another basket - even if they're not completely fresh.

I've been forced into scrambling (no egg pun intended) to make a Plan B...

Plan A will probably still work out - after all, who will ever really want to settle for Plan B... but in the meantime - Plan B is going to give me what I need... and soon enough I'll be back to living the Plan A life.

I want Plan A, but Plan B will do for a while - and it's better than nothing.

When you're up sh*t's creek - you're better off having a paddle than not having a paddle!

That all being said, I don't ever want to be the Plan B... and of course in some cases you can't have a Plan B because to have one would make Plan A not all it's cracked up to be - right?

I've been the Plan B before... like, the fallback crush in the Eve 6 song... you only get him when his Plan A doesn't work... Sucks. That feeling of knowing you weren't the first choice... I could never live with that again. Or even if it isn't like that - just the doubt that maybe he's thinking of someone else... ugh I hated that feeling.

I won't make anyone my Plan B either.

Me no Plan B. You no Plan B. We be Plan A together.

I've been the Plan B friend before too... I remember when I was in middle school I really wanted to be friends with this girl but she only wanted to play with me when there was nobody else... and I think she used me for the fruity Mentos I used to bring to gym class too... but that's besides the point.

I think all my friends now are mutual Plan A's so at least I have that figured out.

It's like that with other things too... career comes to mind but I'm not sure I can relate that at this time...

OK - so... have a Plan B... don't settle for the Plan B life... but have a Plan B - just in case you need it.

Don't even get me started on Plan C - I'm not quite ready to ask if you want fries with that!

:)

D

I like to fly.

2005-07-10T14:53:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been kind of down... anyone who knows what is going on in my life knows it has not been easy... but in all of this I've come to the realization that I've gotten over a VERY BIG FEAR of mine... so I'm going to take a moment to pat myself on the back and let this conquered fear be a step in the right direction for me.

I am not quite sure where my fear of flying came from... I flew a few times when I was younger. My dad took me to Texas when I was in 3rd grade. It was the first time I flew. I remember how excited I was to be getting out of school early that day to take a trip with my dad... and I had NO fear of the plane. In fact, I really don't remember much about it.

I guess on the way back we flew through a horrible storm... and the plane was all over the place... and even the stewardesses (yes, at that time way back in 1985 they were still called STEWARDESSES) were sitting down...

I had to pee real bad. I insisted on going to the bathroom. They didn't want me to get up, but they also didn't want to tell me that it was a bad flight and I shouldn't go... so I went. I guess everything went OK... I don't remember. I just know that when that plane landed there was applause... and that's when they told me it was BAD!

Then in 5th grade I flew to Washington, DC on a school trip... and I had no fear then either. The only thing I remember was feeling kind of sick on the way back... but that's because I was coming down with chicken pox.

Fast forward to my sophomore year of college. I was picked to go to the sorority convention at Purdue University. I was so excited... until the plane took off.

I was with my sorority sister Tara... we were sitting next to each other... we were just chatting away until the plane lifted off the ground and JERKED... like that kind of pull that sometimes happens where you feel like it's going to just fall right back to the ground...

I literally YELPED, grabbed my seat so tight, and started hyperventilating. Poor Tara was embarassed... and the other people on the plane were like "it's ok"...

Then I make it through that flight and realize... next up, we're going on a little puddle jumper 8 seater. Tara was....

THIS POST GOT DELETED BY BLOGGER... I will finish it later.

I'm a little miffed - it was long and good!

I am back.

2005-07-10T14:47:00.000-05:00

This public blog is back...

There are reasons why... but to share them would go against the very reasons why the public blog CAN is IS coming back... all I can tell you is that it will be different.

Here ends this post.

Public blog is returning...

2005-07-06T19:14:00.000-05:00

Soon.

I can't say why or anything... but it's coming back.

Strange things are happenin' to me... Kind of how Woody sings in Toy Story.

Blogging from a historical place... because sometimes you have to revisit the past to do what's right for the future...

Remind me when I start really blogging here again to tell you about rude people on airplanes!!!

:)

D

The New "Private" MILF Diary.

2005-05-25T14:07:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all!

This blog is now over.

I guess maybe it's symbolic in a way... closing the door on one chapter of my life and opening up a new one... but in a much more private way.

MySpace allows me to select who reads my blog, who sees the pictures I post, and who comments, and I like that idea a lot better than this open forum. Over 1000 people a day read this... I do not know 9/10ths of these people...

There are a few reasons why this blog is shutting down.

1. Picutures of Kyla. I still want to be able to share photos of her with family/friends... and will do so in a private ofoto album... and I will share pictures of her with my friends on MySpace who I invite to view my journal. The incident with this wackjob stealing the photos really got to me. I tried to brush it off... but it's creepy and I do not want to keep posting more pictures for anyone to take and exploit. This blog will stay up until I figure out how to copy all of it... I do have some things recorded here that I want to keep, but there will not be any more posts.

2. My life has changed significantly since I started journaling online. While many of you have followed my little life story for a while, I feel at this point I don't need to share anymore. I've opened myself up to too much criticism from people who have no right to criticize, and I've shared a number of things that would have been better off private.

In coming to a new understanding about myself, my life, and just life in general, I've decided it's best to keep personaly things personal. Some people have not been able to respect that, and I'm not going to sit here and delete comments and answer to anyone who is nosey... so I'm just not even going to leave it open for discussion.

3. The other side of the coin on the whole "public" thing is that I've had to second guess myself every time I post something that could be used against me. I also feel like I can say what I want to say on a private journal because I have some idea of who my audience is, and will hopefully be able to rest assured that the people reading it are not fishing for dirt on me or making ridiculous judgements, etc... so with a private journal I can be more candid if I so desire.

There are a handful of people who read this blog who I have never met but who have emailed me or commented a lot, and I consider those people friends... if you are one of them and would like to continue to read my crap, please join MySpace and email me... but understand that I am only going to do this for people who I feel I know!

Thank you for reading - and the dirt site isn't going anywhere!!

UPDATE: Here's what you need to do if you want to read the new private journal... it's a pain in the ass, but this is the only way to do it... and if you think it's too much of a hassle, then you probably don't need to be reading it anyway LOL... this is for the few who want to... and I actually think that having it private like this with just a few people will help me to get to know some of you better!

Here's what to do.

1. Sign up for MySpace at www.myspace.com.

2. Find me. www.myspace.com/danasdirt

3. Sent me a Friend Request if you haven't already.

4. Send me a message requesting to be added to my blog list, and PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS, the one you used to sign up for MySpace with. This is the ONLY way I can invite you to be on my blog list. There is no easy way to do this, I tried just looking up people's names and if your name is "Jen" I have to go through 100 Jen's to find you... so if I do it by email it's easiest!

Dana

Kyla's 1st Day of School!

2005-05-23T10:12:00.000-05:00

OK, well, it's daycare, not school... but to me, it feels like she's at school... and they do all kinds of activities and fun stuff, and this morning, I PACKED HER LUNCH, so it really does seem like school.

I stayed for an hour. My job (hopefully) starts mid-week instead of today... which is good because I really wanted to be able to stay with her for a little while and make sure she was content and adjusting well before I left her. I also need a few days to myself to just chill out, recharge, maybe even take a nap, etc. I haven't had a day to myself in SO LONG!!!

She did so much better than I expected!! Not 5 minutes we were in the room and she wanted to GET DOWN out of my arms... she went right over to a little boy and just started looking at him and doing that "hey I'm checking you out" thing that babies do. She is the youngest in the room, but I think that's a good thing since she'll be able to learn from the older kids. For the first week they told me they will kind of let her do her own thing, explore the room, etc. and next week they'll start trying to adjust her to the structure of the room.

So now I'm like... OK, what do I do with myself. It's COLD here. It's like freaking antarctica, seriously. Overcast for like the upteenth day in a row... it just sucks. IF it was nice I could go lay out or something!

I miss Florida... I know it's nice there, I was looking at a friend's blog with pics of her kids in the pool last week and I was like DAMN I'm a dumbass!! Here it is ALMOST JUNE and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt, socks, etc... and I really feel like I should have put Kyla in her WINTER hat this morning!!

I had this really bizarre dream about an ex from a long time ago last night... we ran into each other by chance (in the dream)... It's making me a little nuts... but whatever.

:)

Me

Kyla's Kicks!

2005-05-20T23:29:00.000-05:00

Look at Kyla's new kicks!!! She LOVES them. I have a ton of pictures to post but this thing is acting up so I just managed to get that one up... She is LOVING her sneakers!! I took them off of her to put her to bed, and she crawled over to them, sat with them, and tried to put them back on her feet!!! She's so adorable in them.

That pic was taken earlier today... poor little girl doesn't feel good. She is all congested... She just wasn't herself today. Not many giggles and smiles. She was trying to play with her little bike but ended up resting on it - isn't that so sweet?!?!?

Yeah, so I had to whip out the child torture devices. Medicine dropper, thermometer, kleenex, ASPIRATOR! I mean, it's bad enough the baby is sick and you know she doesn't feel good... why on earth is this the time when you must also TORTURE the child?? I feel HORRIBLE holding her little head and shoving that thing up her nose and sucking the snot out... but it has to be done. I HATE when she's playing nicely and I have to accost her from behind with a tissue... you know.... you walk up quietly and aim for the nose... oh it sucks... and the thermometer, forget it. No wonder moms can tell if you have a fever by touching your forehead, taking the temperature is cruel and unusual punishment for a baby!!

Luckily, she seems to like the taste of medicine, she fusses FOR MORE!! No, I don't give it to her.

So that's about it... I'm on the air in the morning I need to get to sleep!!

I am doing Crest White Strips - THEY WORK.

:)

D

Good day!

2005-05-19T09:17:00.000-05:00

Hello... I have tons of errands to do today now that I have my car back... Kyla needs some Stride Rites and we have to run over to the daycare to do some paperwork, get her doctor's records, and meet with someone...

Have a great day!!

:)

D*

DO NOT EAT THE JELLO PUDDING SNACK.

2005-05-18T22:46:00.000-05:00

Do not eat the jello pudding snack, just do not. Do not get up and go downstairs and get a spoon and tear the cellophane off the chocolate oreo creamy yummy delicious jello pudding snack.

OK, now that just made me want one even more.

Well I guess online dating is cool these days. I've had a few people in my area shout out to me with a friend request so we'll see. As of right now I've just been like yah hi nice to meetya.

I didn't email that guy back. I actually had to go back to the place where I met him... so it would have made it a little weird. I will do it... keep him waiting a few more days, that way when I do write back it'll be more exciting. HAhahaha... don't hate the playa hate the game!

Seriously though, I just don't know what to say but I think it is a lot kinder to acknowledge the person than to just blow them off, right?

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired but I felt I needed to get some dirt up, then the computer crashed, then I started chatting with a friend from Tampa about old times, and now I figured I'd blog about nothing for a few minutes.

The weather here is still pretty blah. It's OK but definitely not what I got used to down south!! Hello its almost Memorial Day and that meant BEACH BEACH BEACH and BEER BONGS!!! Like the theme song to all in the family says, those were the days!

Poor little Kyla Money Doodle has a BAD cold. I gave her some baby drugs and zonked her out... she was so congested. I went and picked up an aspirator, I couldn't find the other one I had - I think I may have left it at our old place so I just went to get a new one for her.

Why do babies hate having their noses wiped, faces cleaned, and diapers changed? Like, most people enjoy cleanliness, but babies and young children seem to enjoy being snotty, dirty and filthy and sit in their own pee and poop. I do not get it!

Anyway, tonight's another of those nights where I had things about which to blog and then they all fell out of my head. Gonna do a little more dirt and then hit the hay!

Peace and stop talking about the swing incident!!

2005-05-18T11:02:00.000-05:00

Chillin'

2005-05-18T11:00:00.000-05:00

Looking at the big kids on their bikes!

2005-05-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

Doin the hokey pokey with Elmo!

2005-05-18T10:54:00.000-05:00

Staring at the TV...

Online Dating.

2005-05-18T09:10:00.000-05:00

I have to ask... because I am so out of the loop... is online dating now a pretty standard acceptable thing? I have been going through MySpace and looking at people's profiles and I find a LOT of people seem to have the "dating/relationship" option in their profiles... so have things changed from 5 years ago when this was a hush-hush OMG you met ONLINE?? thing...

Just curious. Anyone had any luck? Bad luck?

Kyla has a cold... and she's walking like a champ. It's so fun to see her walking across the kitchen...

I gotta go watch my show!

:)

D*

Sniffle Kid

2005-05-17T09:14:00.000-05:00

Poor Kyla woke up with a face full of snot. She's rarely been sick. All that walking must be wearing her down LOL...

So I got asked out but I need some advice from the guys - yes guys, some of them hot, read this - on the right way to nicely decline the offer.

We met because of a business thing, then he emailed me and asked if I'd like to hang out sometime... very nice guy but I'm just not interested. I think its rude to not respond but what should I say??

LET ME CLARIFY - I did not meet him through my work or anything having to do with my job or career... I didn't want to say exactly where/how I met him, but I say business because I am a customer of his place of business... It's got nothing to do with my professional life! BEEN THERE DONE THAT NEVER AGAIN!

Gotta go do some aspirating!

:)

D

CHECK OUT MY AD!!!

2005-05-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

YES!!!! I'm so excited - my first advertiser - GlamaJama!!

We bought Kyla a ton of stuff from them and I guess a lot of you have gone to their site from here... so Heather emailed me and invited me to be a part of their affiliate program!!!

SHOP AWAY... Their stuff is super cute and worn by all kinds of celebrity babies and hot mammas!!!

My little walker is screaming right now... at 11pm oh no.

D

She's Not You.

2005-05-16T09:34:00.000-05:00

I love this new Jesse McCartney song! I've actually heard those words before, so it kind of stuck in my head the first time I heard it... and I heard it twice yesterday - once on the way to the mall, once on the way back. Gotta love radio rotation LOL.

So on the way to the mall yesterday I was entertaining Kyla with her Elmo phone... it's like a baby cell phone that sings Elmo tunes... and at red lights I would make it ring and then go "HELLO!" and turn to Kyla and she was cracking up... then I was thinking that it would be HILARIOUS to just hold it to my ear while I was driving and act like I was really talking on it. Would have been fun to do if I had someone else in the car with me to laugh with.

I got some CUTE stuff. Express has ALL their crop pants on sale 50% off!! NY & Co. has pants for $14.99. I tried on a TON of stuff there I liked but I have a coupon that starts the 19th so I'm waiting.

I got some shoes at Target!!! I found this pare of Steve Maddens at Macys and they were $50... even on sale... That's not bad for a pair of nice shoes but it is when you're broke... so I passed on them... and I've never bought shoes at Target before but THEY HAD ALMOST THE EXACT SAME SHOES for $16.99. Of course they're by that Xhilaration or whatever that Target brand is - but they are cute and they look just like the Steve Maddens!!

I have an interview today. Not for a radio job, for a "real" job... but I need to do something! It will be interesting to be back in the office job world, I'm sure it'll make for some interesting blog entries. I hope I don't end up in some cubicle a la Office Space but we'll see.

I got asked out this weekend. More on that later...

In Case You Missed It.

2005-05-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

Since a lot of people tried to get onto MySpace and read it the other day and weren't able to, here is my post about my favorite place on earth besides the dentist's chair - The Registry of Motor Vehicles. Or, as it is called in some states, the DMV - I assume for Department as opposed to Registry. Anyway, this was from Wednesday.

******

God love the RMV...
Current mood: hopeful

OK so I do NOT have my car!!!

I had to go to my old school - Framingham State College *God love them too, they wouldn't let me into their Communications program because of a fraction of a GPA point but WHATEVER* - to pay of parking tickets from 1999!!!!!! Yes, 1999!!!!!! They WILL get you. I couldn't register this car until I paid them off.

So there is this HILL on campus. The biggest hill EVER. I dreaded climbing that sonofabitch EVERY day... but the commuter lot is at the bottom of it so I had no choice... in fact I'm pretty sure those 3 tickets I had to pay off were from days when I just couldn't stand the thought of climbing that mountain so I said F-IT and parked in a Faculty lot.

Well I had NO IDEA where I needed to go to pay these tickets but I figured the Campus Police would be my best bet... so I push the stroller up this freaking hill... and of course there are some serious cracks in the sidewalk too so I had to maneuver the stroller over them... all the while getting funny looks from every college brat that passed me panting up the hill...

I get to the Campus Police and they tell me that the Parking Clerk's office is in fact BACK DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL, RIGHT BY THE COMMUTER LOT.

SH*T!

So I just walked all the freaking way up the hill, broke a sweat and probably have SWEATY PIT SPOTS, and I didn't even need to???

And then I'm thinking... I parked in that Commuter lot without a parking decal, with my luck I'll get back to the car and HAVE A TICKET...

Double SH*T.

I asked the guy at the Campus Police desk if it would be possible to NOT give me a ticket... he was cool, called another officer and told him not to ticket the car... Nice save.

I go back down the hill, and going down a steep hill with a baby stroller is not much more fun than going up it. Now I have the OMG what if I trip and the stroller goes flying thing in my mind...

I get to the Parking Clerk's office. She is a very sweet lady and talks baby talk to Kyla.

She looks up my stuff... and then tells me the total $120. Back in 1999 they were $20 tickets... now they are $40 tickets. DAMN!!

I whip out the cash.

"Ohhhhh, hon, I can't take cash... you'll have to go up to the Business Office up the toppa the hill and she can give you a receipt."

My blood began to boil at the thought of climbing that hill again. The old me would have been bitchy and pissy... the new me made a joke about getting my exercize and cheerfully walked my already wiped out ass that needs the exercize anyway back outside...

Push baby up hill. Pant. Pay. Get receipt. Push baby down hill. Get receipt for the registry...

By this time it is almost 1pm... I was supposed to pick my dad up at noon to go get the car, but I realize - I'm going to have to go to the DMV to submit this paperwork, there is no way they do anything electronically.

Why is it that the government is the only agency left on the planet that is incapable of doing ANYTHING electronically???

So anyway we went to lunch, then I went over to the registry. I have to get a MA license within 30 days of registering a car here anyway, so might as well kill 2 birds with one stone.

Uh uh. Can not be that easy. You are now required to present the following - and this applies to ALL STATES - in order to get a license.

SOCIAL SECURITY CARD
BIRTH CERTIFICATE
PROOF OF ADDRESS
PROOF OF SIGNATURE

I don't know where my SS card or my birth cert are!!!

So no license... and since by the time I got done doing stuff at the registry the car dude I needed to talk to was done for the day... It'll have to be done tomorrow.

So you might have to kinda live without me for another day.

I am doing some dirt now but I need sleeeeep too.

In Kyla news - she's taking lots of steps!! She walked a little a few weeks ago and hasn't done much since... but the other night she went like 5 or 6 steps on her own and she did it a few times earlier... My little walker!!!

Now where are the comments???? Not to the blog but to my profile. I like comments!!!!

D*

WARNING:

2005-05-14T21:56:00.000-05:00

If you hate the sight of my face, you might want to leave. This is my blog and I have taken some time tonight to photograph myself and mess with the photo effects, cropping, etc. I also got my hair done and played with it. If you think I'm ugly - DON'T WRITE MEAN COMMENTS, just DON'T LOOK... go look at yourself instead I'm sure your face is a much finer example of God's work.

Now, on with the photo madness.

I am trying to figure out which pic to use for my MySpace and for my Blogger profile... No, I do not have anything better to do right now, besides finish organizing the mess of clothes on my bed. I do not feel like doing that... so I'm messing with pics of myself. And going to get another (my 2nd) glass of wine. The only thing that pisses me off about this picture is the dark spot on my cheek because the lens has some speck of dirt on it or something. That's my life though, it's ALWAYS something... ;)

2005-05-14T21:46:00.000-05:00

There's my hair I chopped it ALL OFF!!!! Just kidding :) But I'm thinking about going shorter and doing fun with color to keep myself young...

2005-05-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

I kinda look like a pissed off skater chick in this one or something... doesn't look like me.

2005-05-14T21:32:00.000-05:00

Hi I'm D*ana and I am a big frigging dork tonight. I had to get up at 4:30 this morning and go to work, not that I mind - I love my job and if I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning to do it by golly I will. Then I went to get my hair did and my eyebrows done. You can't really tell in the pictures but it's a BIG change for me... there's a LOT of big chunks of blonde - I LOVE IT. I used to go to this hairdresser all the time and she was like "you never go this drastic!!" I said - DO IT. She had her hair like this and I WANTED IT. It makes me feel 100x better about myself and I needed this pick me up. Then Kyla WALKED!!! See those pics below... Then I mopped the kitchen floor... and then I played with my hair and poured myself a GLASS OF WINE because I've been doing a lot of sh*t lately and I wanted one... and now I have posted this whole entry into the Hello! thing and they really need to fix this so that 1. you can have a TITLE and 2. you can upload more than one pic at a time because I hate how it goes backwards. More pictures coming because I am being really vuggy tonight. Oh, and for people b*tching about the dirt - I love doing my website but there is more to me than just talking about GODDAM CELEBRITIES!!!

2005-05-14T21:25:00.000-05:00

Note to Self: Next time you take a self-closeup at that angle, pick your nose to get the boogers out first.

2005-05-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

Got my eyebrows done too - love that... except for the 3 hours of redness around the eyes that follow!

2005-05-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

My new hair! I need to bleach my teeth LMAO... I'm picking up some Crest White Strips... I'm not going to lie and be like "oh it's just the lighting"... I'm 27, used to smoke sometimes, coffee drinker, it happens. Of course that's what I notice about the picture!!

KYLA IS MY NAME...

2005-05-14T19:14:00.000-05:00

AND WALKING IS MY GAME!!!

2005-05-14T19:08:00.000-05:00

What up big people? It's been a while since my Milfy Mommy posted any pictures of me... she's been gossiping on that other website about all these celebrities... (Kiss my hiney Apple Martin I CAN WALK NOW GIRL!!!)

Well I know some crazy lady tried to say my name was Domynyque but THE REAL KY-SHADY is STANDIN' UP - and WALKIN' CROSS THE FLO'!!

Peace!!

Early Bird Gets the Worm...

2005-05-14T07:43:00.000-05:00

No, early bird gets MASSIVE CUPS OF DUNKIN DONUTS COFFEE!!

I had to wake up at 4:30 and be on the air at 6am... And now I am going to get my hair did - So I'll have some AFTER pics later... but I am not brave enough to even put the NASTY BEFORES!

Have a nice day!

:)

The RETURN OF THE MILF DIARIES!!!

2005-05-13T21:05:00.000-05:00

Yup - Screw it. I liked this name, I'm keeping it. This blog is not about anything inappropriate nor do I really care what those who don't approve think.

Nuff said on that.

So... this whole thing with this crazy chick stealing my pictures. WOW.

I have to thank the person who found the Court records of this girl's boyfriend/fiance/whatever he is... because once I had her info and told her I knew where she lived, SHE FREAKED, confessed, apologized, and took it all down.

It's obviously a sad story though. The court record on this guy was for assualt of a pregnant woman.... so that alone explains a lot. I have also been talking to one of her MySpace friends who she only knew through the internet. This Nycole chick has been carrying on and building a friendship with someone in another state using my pictures for over a year. She has even sent cards in the mail to this girl, signing them Love Nycole & DOMYNYQUE - which is the name she gave to the pictures of Kyla. This girl I am talking to is really hurt... she sent gifts to her!! She didn't believe I was telling her the truth until this girl took down her blog and profiles... and now she is just really upset. I feel bad.

Never in my life did I think anyone was that wacky. It is straight out of a made for TV movie.

I am really glad I do not live in that area anymore. If I did, trust me, I would be all over this and would be taking this girl to court or something... for stalking or whatever I could do. I really think she's just lonely and hurt, and I think she might really be pregnant - pray for her baby.

So anyway, I've kind of been distracted by this. It seems silly to worry about wackos on the internet... but this was so weird.

The girl was also stealing other people's baby pictures. I was able to find an email she had sent me - of course posing as someone else, but I put all the screen names, email addresses, etc. together... she's got a ton of them... and she'd sent me - and a number of other people - an email on mother's day. I did REPLY ALL and let everyone know that she was stealing pictures of me and my daughter... and a number of these woman checked her other profiles and found pictures of their children as well.

So anyway, mystery solved - kinda. I do not know this girl, I don't know if Nycole is her real name, but I know she was using her boyfriend's real name because when my friend found the court record with the address on it and I IM'd her with that info - she backed down and confessed and apologized.

So anyway, now that that's over with.........

MySpace is addicting. I don't know why... I'm sure I'll be over it soon... but it is fun for now. I think I enjoy interacting with people like that and getting in touch with some friends from Tampa or "meeting" other radio people that I've heard of but never really talked to...

I have to work at 6am then I am going to get my hair done after I get off the air. I haven't had it done since NOVEMBER so I am excited. Then it's to the mall to get some new clothes since I have NOTHING for spring!!

Anyway, hope you are happy the Milf Diaries ARE BACK!!

I'm Still Here...

2005-05-13T09:24:00.000-05:00

Hi, I know I have been slacking on some stuff lately... I will explain it all later. Between Kyla starting day care next week, getting a car, nice weather, setting up MySpace, and now finding out there is some frigging total nutcase out there using pictures of Kyla on her MySpace and blog and calling her "Domynyque"... I'm a little freaked out.

I wasn't going to post it, but you know what - screw it. This girl is insane and I would really like you guys to see just what kind of crazy people there are out there. I am working on getting her info and a friend of mine is helping me out - I just really want to know who she is so I know I don't have to worry about anything crazy happenning.

THANK GOD I AM NO LONGER IN FLORIDA!!!

I do not know this girl... But she's obviously got some very serious issues. I just want the pictures of me and Kyla removed, but I am not quite sure how I can FORCE her - or the MySpace people or Blogger - to take them down.

Click here for psycho blog #1. Scroll down you will see pictures of Kyla, and a lot of her posts are copied from this blog - or from my old baby journal - and edited to suit her... like she changes Kyla's name to "Domynyque"!!!! Talk about SCARY. Check the archives too, lots of pictures of me, TK, Kyla... and she even took an entry off TK's blog and posted it, saying it was a letter she received from "Domynyque's father"!!!

I found this because once I signed up for MySpace, she sent me a message, from her profile, WITH MY PICTURE ON IT... I was like WTF!!! Just as I wrote this, they deleted the MySpace account. I emailed them, told them she was using my pictures, they made me take a picture of myself holding a "MySpace" sign, send it, and they removed it. I feel bad, apparently she's been talking to a girl online for a year and a half, and this girl has SENT HER GIFTS FOR "DOMYNYQUE"... I talked to people on her friends list because I wanted to fish for info - and I GOT PLENTY, especially now that this girl knows she's insane.

I highly doubt this girl is capable of doing anything to me... I know a lot of people read this and if you live in FL and have ANY idea who she might be PLEASE let me know... my gut feeling is that she uses her real name but just makes up this false life online...

So that's what I've been investigating. I suppose it's my own fault for posting pictures of Kyla... but not really. Lots of people post photos of their kids, I just happen to be the one who gets targeted by a psycho.

Time for bananas!!

:)

THE REAL DANA LOL

Bringing Back the MILF Diaries.

2005-05-09T22:13:00.000-05:00

SOOOOO MANY PEOPLE are saying I should bring it back... Uh, I don't know!!

I don't like any other name for this blog. Yeah it might not be the most appropriate thing but who the hell cares, it's a joke.

Anyway, I had a good day today, got a lot of things done... made some phone calls... ate cupcakes.... made some plans to see old friends I haven't seen in YEARS... dealt with fast talking car salesman who happens to be a former FL resident... went to Friendly's for dinner... did laundry... that's about it... All good.

I find myself laughing at things that used to really upset me...

I'm so happy I am on this side of the "hindsight is 20/20" thing now, and I'm glad I hear Dr. Phil's voice ringing in my ear.... Even though he pronounces his "W" words like ah-wah-at instead of what and ah-wh-ooh instead of who, I dig him.

I learn so much just watching that show... It sounds so lame but it is TRUE... that's why these shows are so popular!! WE RELATE!!! He's not all Springer - some of the situations are a little extreme, but for the most part it's real people with real problems... and when I watch it I find myself relating in some ways to people... and when I see him giving advice to these people I realize I need to heed some of it myself.... and I have. If you saw the show today he was telling this one woman EXACTLY what she needed to do with regard to her life, and it's EXACTLY what I did!! GO DR. PHIL!!!

This is one of those times I wish I had a truly personal private blog so that I could write what I want to say... but oh well.

Time for sleep, I hope Kyla doesn't keep me up all night AGAIN... she's in this bad habit of waking up around midnight and just wanting to play. My brain is fried, got nothing much more to say.

Keep telling everyone about the dirt site I NEED MORE HITS!!!!

:)

D

Move Over Mrs. Cleaver...

2005-05-08T20:24:00.000-05:00

So, what do you think about that for the name of this blog? It's from Jenny McCarthy's book and I think it's fitting... She's like "Move over Mrs. Cleaver, there's a new bitch in town!" and I thought it was funny... I don't know. It's not my idea but I kinda like it... Something along those lines anyway.

I also like the idea of "Inside the Mind of a Babe with a Baby" but that's more of a subtitle than a title.

Well, I have a really funny story but I am hesitant to share it on this blog... But I will anyway.

Last night I had no babysitter. I called a LOT of people but nobody could do it... the family had plans, friends were away, etc... and nobody else could do the shift. I am SO LUCKY to work for such great people who totally understand my situation and my boss was like, "bring the little one... it's just one of those things that happens when you have kids... no worries."

So little Kyla came to work with me last night LOL... I KNEW she wasn't going to just chill in the pack & play while I was on the air... No way. At first she was like "what is going on..." like with that cute little looking around checking it all out thing... and then I put her in the stroller right next to me for a bit. She was good for about 20 minutes in there, which gave me enough time to get settled and get some phone calls, etc...

Then she started fussing. No Cheerios. No toys. She wanted OUT. She wanted me to hold her... so for about an hour and a half I did my show with a baby on my hip!!!

I AM SUPER-DJ-MOMMY!!! Maybe that should be the name of this blog LOL.

So I'm like... my arm is ready to fall off, one of these times she's going to start fussing with the mic open, I gotta get her to go to sleep - but putting her down in the pack & play outside the studio door just wasn't going to cut it. She SCREECHED... and I felt cruel just leaving her out there to stare at the door while I closed it. EVIL-DJ-MOMMY.

So what did I do... I NURSED HER. Yes, if only the people of Boston listening to this station around 10 last night knew that I had a kid on my boob while I was TALKING ON THE AIR. It's just a good thing she didn't bite me because y'all would have heard a big "OUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!"

So yeah, I'm a SUPERBOOBIEFEEDINGDJMOMMY!!!

What else is on the mind o' D*ana... Donations. I'm considering this for the Dirt Blog. I didn't want to, but I spent a LOT of time doing it and a lot of people have suggested I start taking them. I don't quite have enough hits to get serious advertisers... and once I hit that 10k/day (lol that sounds like a radio contest haha) thing I need to keep it at or above 10k/a day consistently for 6 months before anyone will pay me to put up ads. Yeah, google ads, I've made about $10 in 4 months - not gonna cut it.

I thought it was tacky to be all begging for donations, but you pay for tabloids so why not voluntarily pay me for my services. If I do this, I will have a cute little "Will gossip for food" graphic or something. I figure since I have about 7-8000 hits a day if only a small fraction of those people donate a buck a month I can make a little bit of money. I will just have a big disclaimer that just because you DONATE doesn't mean I can't take a day off if I need to or whatever... So what do you think? A lot of people are doing the whole donate thing but I'm not sure how they've made out with it.

So I have decided that there is a risk I need to take. It is not anything bad - I always feel like I have to put that because people assume I'm going off the deep end or something is wrong LOL - but it's a good risk. Putting myself out there and just preparing myself for the very real possibility of rejection... but that's life right? Had I never tried to be on the air I'd never be where I am... And that was a HUGE risk. I hate rejection, but I actually have a feeling that if I go about this situation right it could work out and be VERY rewarding. You'll know about it if/when it happens - TRUST ME.

There's your ambiguous what the hell is she talking about I hate when she does that statement of the day.

Tonight at dinner - we went to Longhorn, YUMMMMMMMY steak - and my stepmom said something about how when I get back into the working world (which is happening soon :) I'll meet people and have guys hitting on me... I was like "oh yeah, sure"... Honestly, that's really the last thing on my mind!! I just want to get myself straight before I worry about any stupid men!!!! I also wonder how difficult it will be to find guys who are cool with me being a mom. WHERE ARE THE DILFS??????

OK, I should jet. I am actually still sitting at the radio station chatting with someone.

:)

D

Happy Mother's Day!!

2005-05-08T15:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies who read this :)

I had a nice mother's day... Had cupcakes and eggs for breakfast LOL... yes, 2 cupcakes. My stepmom made them last night because the mothers deserve some sweets for mother's day... and my dad made eggs this morning.

I have to take a picture to show you what Kyla made for me... well, she had help of course... Her handprints in a frame!!! It's SO cute!!! The funniest thing is the other day I noticed she had a little bit of bright blue stuff under her fingernails and I could not for the life of me figure out where it came from.... I was thinking the blue dye on the pack & play got wet and was running... or it was from my clothes or hers or SOMETHING... well, now I know where it came from!!! I actually said something to my stepmother about not knowing what got under her fingernails... but she couldn't tell me since it was a surprise!!! Now I know - it was just a little tiny bit of paint that just wouldn't come off when they did it the other night. Totally sweet, it's so adorable.

I also got a little book of Mother Goose rhymes to read to Kyla... and the Jennie McCarthy book "Baby Laughs"...

Have you read this book? I never read "Belly Laughs" which is her pregnancy book, but they gave me "Baby Laughs" for Mommy's Day and I have only read a little of it, but it is SO FUNNY. My dad was cracking up looking at it this morning.... and I've read a few pages, it is HYSTERICAL.

I even think I am going to use one of her lines in the book as the title of this blog!!! :)

Well, I am working tonight so I gotta go. It is COLD here, I HATE it. Who wants to wear winter clothes in the MIDDLE OF MAY??? Not me, but it's like 45 out or something. YUCK!!

Hope you had a great mother's day!!

:)

D

Hi!

2005-05-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

So today we went and looked at another day care for Kyla... this one was SOOOOO NICE!!! The one we went to on Tuesday was OK, but I just didn't get a real happy feeling about it... It was up to standards, etc... but neither my stepmother nor myself felt good about it.

The one we saw today was REALLY nice... it's very new, VERY clean, all the kids looked completely happy, the staff was really nice and professional, etc... I am actually EXCITED for her to go. She needs to be around other kids... she was smiling at the other children it was so sweet!!

The difficult thing is how much it costs... But I'll figure that out...

Gotta run.

D

TV Land

2005-05-05T21:42:00.000-05:00

That's what I feel like I live in sometimes...

Did you see Brooke Shields on Oprah or The Insider tonight??? OH MY GOD. She had PPD real bad... I feel bad for her... I had some issues but never like that. I mean she admits she thought about hurting her baby!!!

I am so tired I need to go to sleep... I just did the dirt site for a while, swore I'd go to bed before 11, and I HAVE TO. I've been in a daze for days. Haha...

:)

d

A craving for beer.

2005-05-03T23:17:00.000-05:00

All of a sudden I just wish I had a beer in my hand. A nice cold bottle of Bud Light or something. No reason, it would just be nice.

The summer is coming. I need to get my hair done so very badly. It's been a while since I went to get it done. Last time I went dark, but i want to go light again for the summer. Oh, and just a side note since EVERYONE has been freaking about Britney coloring her hair - it's OK while you are pregnant.

Anyway, I want to get my hair cut and colored... It's expensive but my hair is a big ratty rooty mop... we'll see.

Tomorrow I have a ton of errands to run... gotta get a few things in the mail at the post office, do some mother's day shopping, so I hope it's a nice day.

We went to look at a day care for Kyla today... it wasn't bad... Just a little freaky for me. More on that when I am not so tired.

She didn't sleep well AGAIN last night... I don't know if it's teeth, late night hunger, night terrors, or what but she was screeching!! It's really exhausting but I end up staying up late because this is the only time I have to unwind by myself.

Ugh, I wish I had something witty for you but I don't. As soon as I lay down to go to sleep I'll come up with something to write about LOL.

Peace out homies.

D

My Blog Sings Clay Aiken Songs.

2005-05-02T22:52:00.000-05:00

Like.... If I was INVISIBLE, then it wouldn't matter that I don't have a name...

Poor, poor, blog. I always thought it was horrible how some parents just can't think of a name for their child so it has to be like "Baby Jones" for 6 days... That sucks. I feel for my blog right now. And shit, after having 9 months - ok, maybe only 7 months because for the first 2 you might not know you're pregnant - so after SEVEN MONTHS to mull over the name you haven't decided yet?? Seriously. Talk about procrastination.

I'm in a funk. I think it's because I was just sitting here a few minutes ago and one of the little handles on the dresser behind me just randomly made a big "clank" noise... like as if the little metal handle thing was pushed up and suddenly fell back to the proper position - but nothing made it move. That creeped me out.

I had some chocolate oreo pudding earlier. Pudding snack cups are only slightly bigger than those little things they use to give you free samples in at Costco. Can someone PLEASE start making chocolate pudding in a QUART or PINT so that I can eat more than a serving at a time? Let's do it the way they do ice cream... so that I scoop out as much as I want to overindulge in at a time, THANKS!

Of course I could eat 2 of them to satisfy my craving but then I'd just feel like a big hog for eating two. Damn this whole portion control crap. I'm hungry.

I must also say that looking at pictures of Kevin Federline getting Starbucks yummies every day is getting to me too. Those freaking things are so good. I hate Starbucks regular hot coffee, it's like drinking liquid charcoal or something, but their mochalattidatties are SO DELICIOUS.

You know what else I got a craving for, and I HATE THIS because I got the craving from a POP UP... but Chili's chicken fingers. They have good chicken fingers. I haven't been to Chili's since Tampa!! Not because I like intentionally boycotted or anything, I just haven't been to one.

While we're on the subject of food, what is it about restaurant eggs? Like, I LOVE Denny's, Bickford's, IHOP, their eggs are awesome... there's like a weird scrambled creaminess to them that I just can not for the life of me acheive at home. I try not overcooking them, I try adding a little water or a little milk, but no!!! They don't come out bad... but they don't have that restaurant-y consistency and taste.

Ugh, now I'm craving some hash browns. I go back and forth between enjoying the big McDonald's ones or the little Burger King ones.

OK, now I am really making myself and everyone else hungry!!!

I need to go to bed but I have sleep issues. I'm gonna try though.

SUGGESTIONS FOR BLOG NAMES - email me or comment!!!

D

This Neglected Journal.

2005-05-02T12:51:00.000-05:00

As opposed to "This Old House"... anyway... this journal needs some serious attention. It needs a name, a new graphic, some interesting updates. I am so sorry I've been so neglectful.

I've been working on the dirt site so much and I just haven't had much to say on this blog... Or I think of things and then they fall out of my head when it comes time to write!!!

I am sorry... more will come soon.

How nuts is this... I love looking at my webstats for the dirt site just to see where people are SLACKING OFF AT WORK LOL... Here are some of the companies that need to keep their employees in check!! What's scary is the number of GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS that check it LMAO!!

Urban Outfitters
Deloitte & Touche
Department Of Veterans Affairs
City Of Austin Electric Utility Department
Oregon State System Of Higher Education
Paramount Pictures
Donna Karen New York
J. Crew
Federal Aviation Administration
Citadel
Viacom
The United States Centers For Disease Control
Los Alamos National Laboratory

Those are just a few... It's just interesting. And OF COURSE I AM KIDDING about slacking off, I love that so many people dig the site!!! The best is the FAA though, that threw me off!!

Well, I have some big decisions to make and I guess maybe that's why I haven't posted much personal stuff to this blog. As you know I tend to spew... and rather than risking divulging too much, I just keep quite. I think I'm going to work on doing more posts like the baby poop story (though I really hope there isn't another one for a LONG time) and the Wiggles thing, etc. because that seems to be the most fun... It just requires me to be in the right mindset and I haven't been lately. Things are good - I just don't know which way to go now!!! At least I have options!!

If you miss me on the radio (for the Tampa peeps) click here for some old stuff and my show in Boston this weekend... I'm going to start uploading some MP3s on a regular basis now.

:)

D

Ding Dong Ditch

2005-05-01T01:27:00.000-05:00

Who does this?

I just got home from work, I am sitting at the computer, it's nearly 2am... everyone else is asleep... and THE DOORBELL RINGS!!!

I jumped... woke my dad up... he checked the house, inside and out... and went back to bed... "Probably just kids"...

So of course I'm all freaked out, and thinking irrationally because if whoever it was intended on breaking into the house, the last thing they'd do is RING THE BELL to let us know they were here LOL.

Still freaky. Now I'm wide awake. This sucks.

D

Put on a tunic and look wicked cute.

2005-04-30T18:14:00.000-05:00

Anyone else bothered by this?

My Blog is a Jane Doe.

2005-04-29T23:45:00.000-05:00

I am racking my brain trying to come up with a name for my blog. Here is some feedback I've gotten about my decision to change the name of this blog, formerly known as The MILF Diaries...

"It sucks you had to change the name of your blog. Someday I hope I will be a MILF too." - A close friend who shall remain nameless

"I love your blog and I love the dirt page it is like a nightly ritual LOL... I say do what you want and do what makes you happy... The haters can shove it up their arse!!" - RJ, Tampa, FL

"MILF Diaries or no MILF Diaries YOU are still a MILF!!!" - Another friend who must remain anonymous

Y'all must be like WTF with the anonymous comments... but I got IM's from people almost immediately after I took the graphic down and I sometimes feel weird posting the names of people I actually know... there's this weird thing about it to me.

So yeah, I miss my MILF graphic but I'm going to use the same artwork, just with a different title and minus the BRA when I think of the new name... It isn't so much about what "other people" in general think, it's really about the family aspect of the blog and that it's not just a place for my writing but also a place where people look at pictures of Kyla and the whole MILF thing just doesn't sit well with me when it comes to that.

I suppose I COULD start another blog but that would be ridiculous. I'm about to have more blogs than pairs of underwear!!

So a friend of mine just got an AMAZING job. AMAZING. I am really proud of her and am really happy to know that I helped her along the way... It's great to have someone say "thank you for taking me under your wing" and realize you contributed to someone else meeting their goals because you took the time and believed in them... She's worked incredibly hard, put in the time, LIVED for the radio station, been persistent, and made all the right moves... It's just really cool and inspiring.

Trust me, I personally need some inspiration right now LOL... I don't think I need to get into it any more than that on this blog.

So Mother's Day is next weekend. It's kinda weid actually BEING a Mom on Mother's Day. Last year was my first mother's day and I woke up to breakfast courtesy of Cafe Dufrain on the patio!!! It was really really sweet. My stepmom is a preschool teacher and she was telling me the other day about all the cute things the kids were making for their mommies... It will be so fun when Kyla can make those things for me. I actually have to work Mother's Day this year which is just as well - she's not old enough to know the difference anyway LOL.

I should go. I had a conversation earlier that I've been thinking about. Not good, but not bad. Just something.

Damn I am craving the rest of my Papa Gino's pizza but 1am WAY TOO LATE to pig out!!!

:)

D

I've Been Through the Desert on a Journal With No Name...

2005-04-29T14:38:00.000-05:00

Lala la la lalalalaaaaa la la la la lah.

Anyway, yes. I changed the name of the blog... Well, it's now the Blog Formerly Known as The Milf Diaries until I come upwith something else suitable.

Honestly, I am changing it for a few reasons, not one of them being that 16 year old little girl who made fun of it LOL... anyone who read that blog and had a good laugh with me about it knows what I am referring to. People have this love/hate thing with me, it's a little frightening.

OK, so why I changed it. A few people have - not so nicely of course - brought up the fact that regardless of whether or not it was a "private joke" between me and a friend, the term MILF, to some people, has very negative connotations and that it basically would appear to people who DON'T KNOW IT'S A JOKE, that I really am just saying "Yo, I'm a mom and I like to f***"... I might as well call it "I'm a Mommy and a Slut" or something.

Now, while I DO think it's funny... I have to consider that there are people out there who really will see it and be put off... because they don't know me and don't know I say things like that for the fun of it and for the "audience" who "gets it"... but not everyone gets it.

Also I've taken into consideration - and not because anyone pointed it out to me but because its been an ongoing thought from the beginning - that my family/Kyla's family reads this... and come here to look at pictures of her... and I'd really not like anyone in my family to have to explain to someone else what a MILF is. It is what it is...

I guess think of it this way... When I was in high school we had this retreat, and like teenage girls do, we were goofing off and this one chick wrote ANUS on her forehead using lipstick. We took pictures of it... it was funny... we all got a huge laugh about it... but that's not the type of picture you'd put in the yearbook or in a family photo album or hang in your office when you get out into the working world. It was a joke amongst friends, but you wouldn't want someone's first impression of you to be "I WROTE ANUS ON MY FOREHEAD"... It's just not appropriate.

Maybe that's not the BEST analogy, but I wanted to share the story because I thought of it earlier and it's funny.

It ended up being called the Milf Diaries because I was joking with a friend who suggested I start the "Milf Radio Network"... It was an IM conversation between me and a good friend - and it was a joke. Then I said I needed a name for my blog so why not call it the Milf Diaries...

I guess it was one of those things that should have stayed a private joke because not everyone who looks at this would understand it, and in all seriousness, the term does mean Mom I'd Like to F*** and there are certain people who probably don't appreciate that.

I just took a step back and looked at it from the perspective of others and decided to consider the fact that MANY people read this and it isn't worth it.

So that's that. The brainstorm is on for a new journal name that does not involve the word "random" LOL.

More to come... I just ate 4 pieces of Papa Gino's Pizza... I gotta get the pictures of Marc Anthony's "Jennifer" tattoo up on the dirt site and then I will be back!!

:-)

D

What's up FISH FACE??

2005-04-28T22:27:00.000-05:00

How cute is this... Last night we're sitting at the dinner table making Kyla do her "tricks" - you know like patty cake, wave bye bye (which I think she kinda knows now doesn't make sense unless someone is actually leaving), blow kisses, etc... Then my dad makes a fish face just to goof off... not really thinking Kyla's going to do it back... and she kinda smiled, and next thing we know SHE IS DOING THE FISH FACE!!!

Sucking in those chubby cheeks with her little lips all kissy like a fish IT WAS HYSTERICAL.

She is also ready to answer the phone. As soon as she can WALK to it I'm sure she'll be trying to answer it... she's already saying "hello" every time it rings!! It's more of like a "harr-oh" but it's close enough, and happens in response to ringing, so it's gotta be HELLO. She's going to be a talk-a-holic just like her mommy!!!

What up with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Seriously... she's got to be SUPER intimidated... you know she used to have posters of him on her bedroom wall. I remember when I met Jordan Knight and I felt SO WEIRD knowing that I used to wear a big huge PIN on my jean jacket with his face on it... it's gotta be like that for Katie with Tom. She's cute - I actually do like her - but she is NOT on the level of Penelope Cruz or Nicole Kidman in the whole Hollywood Scene... it's kind of like the college senior dating a hot high school freshman... Just plain weird. What can they possibly talk about? Is he like - oh I loved your topless scene in that movie where you are dead and topless and bound with seaweed??? Yeah, I can't remember the name of it but the pictures of her big boobies from that movie are resurfacing all over the place.

Angelina Jolie must be like THANK YOU TOM AND KATIE!!!

Yeah, speaking of Angelina, I had no idea her fans were so psycho. People got NASTY about defending her on the dirt blog. Chill!!!

Speaking of psychos... did you see Oprah today? She had that woman on who ran over her husband and killed him after she found out he was cheating.... Such a sad story. Nobody should die that way, but this man ruined her life by being a cheating a-hole... She claims it was an accident, but I don't think it was. It's a tough one because you know she must have just been filled with rage and out of her mind... and rightfully so... but yeah, running over someone, that's crazy. I just felt bad for her while watching it, but then Oprah read the letter his daughter sent in, saying how she KNEW she was going to hit him, and you just know it was malicious.

Anyway, that show creeped me out. This woman had a perfectly good life for all these years, he cheats like a douchebag, and then ends up dead, she's in jail, her boys basically lost BOTH their parents, etc... UGH.

Then I go to Dr. Phil for more fun-filled dysfunction... and I thought I had problems. He's got this MANIPULATIVE ASS who has a wife, and a girlfriend, who just happens to be the former best friend of his wife... and she's married... and they BOTH got pregnant by this guy and had their babies 24 days apart!!! And they BOTH WANT HIM!!!

I really think they belonged on Oprah yesterday - she had the dude who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" on... and basically all he did was confirm for women in the audience what they already knew - he's just not that into you.

The key word being "THAT"... like, he's kinda into you, when it's convenient, when he doesn't have anyone else, but he isn't going to commit and he doesn't LOVE you he just says he does... That kind of stuff. One guy in the audience said the book made him have to change his game... but that he also learned how to get OUT OF situations by hinting around to things instead of actually having to say them!!

Relationships - yuck.

Did you know that Coach makes iPod cases? They are so cute. Not that I can afford Coach, but I just find it really cute that they make little leather cases for iPods.

I tend not to flip out of things that I can't purchase LOL... but I like that and since iPods are the hip thing I thought I would share. Next there will be Coach cases for your dog's iPod that plays bird chirping noises or something.

It's funny how having a baby... and then having no job... will very quickly make one (well, me) realize how many stupid things I wasted money on... Not that I ever made like HUGE impuls purchases - I never spend more than $75 on a pair of shoes, I never was one to buy tons of purses or jewelry, don't do expensive makeup... but I just bought CLOTHES, like a different outfit for every night of the week for a while... and eating out... and tipping like $40 because I drank for free... or taking a day trip to Orlando and dropping $200 like it was nothing...

Anyway, I'll get off that subject because it's starting to irritate me LOL...

Oh no, Kyla is awake. It's midnight. She has done this 3 nights in a row now. I don't get it. I don't want to pick her up because then she gets in the habit of knowing she can cry and get her way in the middle of the night... but she keeps everyone awake!!

OK I should go anyway. Remember to tell your friends about the dirt site!!!

:)

D

2005-04-28T22:24:00.000-05:00

Kyla loves her Little People House!

2005-04-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

She was trying to put her feet in my big shoes!

Sorry for the lack of updates...

2005-04-28T08:37:00.000-05:00

I have been doing other stuff and focusing on the DIRT page... Especially since I GOT LINKED FROM USA TODAY ONLINE yesterday!!!

Yes... www.usatoday.com - as in the major nationwide newspaper - in their Life section they have a column called "Hip Clicks" and they linked to me!!! I got TONS AND TONS of hits... I need people to keep coming back. I want to get advertisers and really make some money off the site but it won't happen until I have 10,000 visitors a day... I'm about HALF way there...

So if you like the dirt site, tell a friend :)

I also have noticed "Paramount Pictures" in LA on my webstats... and a friend told me she found out through a PR person she knows that some CELEBRITIES look at my site. CRAZY!!! I won't say who they are or anything... but I was pretty shocked. I didn't believe it until I saw the Paramount Pictures thing and then I was like... hmmm... maybe they are looking!!

Anyway, Kyla is fussing. I have several little tidbits to write about but I've been too tired once she goes to bed, after doing the dirt, to write.

I know you miss me ;)

D

Cling cling cling.

2005-04-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

OK, so I know what the cure for STATIC CLING IS - some Bounce.

But what about the cure for KID CLING???

My daughter will not sit by herself content for two seconds the last few days. I am sitting here with my eyes drooping out of my head... usually we play, then she plays on her own while I do other things or pick up or whatever... then we play together more... but lately I can't put her down!!!

ALL DAY she would just crawl over to me fussing to be held... I pick her up, she's fine. Chill for a minute, put her down, she cries. Even when I'm sitting with her to play, or going to read her a story, or WHATEVER, she just fusses!!!

Is this normal? I'm thinking... who every said the "terrible 1's"!!!

Anyway, I'm so freaking tired I can't really muster up a good post - but the poop one was enough for a while LOL...

I'm going to sleep.

D

Whites, Darks, Pinks.

2005-04-25T21:54:00.000-05:00

That's how I sort my laundry. I love pink, and I have a little girl... so laundry is no longer about whites and darks... there's pinks. There has to be. You can usually wash yellows with whites, blues with darks, etc... but when you have this much pink - bright and light - you have to do a whole separate load of pinks. I know I am not the only one who does this, but just thought I'd share.

I had some other stuff to write about but I am exhausted. Today was a LONG day the Poopie story was not even the half of it.

I need some good sleep... and I have to clean up the bedroom before I can even crawl into bed.

:)

D

~A Baby Poop Story~

2005-04-25T20:45:00.000-05:00

OK, based on the title and the photograph, I don't think I need to issue a WARNING about this post, but I will anyway just to make sure. I don't think I've ever posted a sh*t story - and believe me there have been plenty of them - but this one is too good not to share... and since I'm doing it, I might as well go all out and be graphic... so consider yourself warned.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Kyla and I went to Old Navy after her doctor's appointment this morning. I'm browsing around the baby clothes and all of a sudden I hear this "ppppffffffttttttt"... I look down at her sitting in the stroller...

She's leaned forward, and to my HORROR I see BOILING MUSTARD SPEWING OUT OF HER DIAPER AND UP HER BACK!!!!!!! It was BUBBLING... and it was gross... and it was EVERYWHERE. My immediate thought is to BOOK IT out of the store... but then what???

I can't just put her in the car seat and take off... that would make for a STINKY ride home, not to mention the poogoo is already all over her, and will end up all over me, all over the car seat, and it's already seeping into the stroller seat...

So I run to the bathroom - and frantically start grabbing toilet paper to wipe off her back and the stroller... I at least had to contain what I could at that point while I collected my thoughts and considered the best plan of action.

I knew I didn't have a spare outfit... and I knew that taking the outfit that had poop all over it off, changing the diaper, and then putting the crappy outfit back on again was completely gross and out of the question... trying to prevent all that messy mustard from getting all over everything else would have been impossible.

Well, we're IN the clothing store... so as long as I clean up the mess enough to prevent further leakage, we're good. I had to be quick though, because I didn't want anyone to smell the diaper or end up having her lean forward to allow for more to spew out.

On top of that, there would be nothing more mortifying than to have another person browsing through the store and bear witness to my child's ass lava all over the back of the stroller... and even worse than that - the fact that I seemed to be casually perusing the clothing selection instead of cleaning it up.

I was PACING through the baby girl section... I didn't know what to get her... it was cold outside, but I didn't want to get her some warm thing since she's got plenty of warm clothes and needs things for spring... I went through a TON of stuff, pacing, pacing, pushing her back in her seat every time she leaned forward, but luckily only occassionally getting a wiff...

I couldn't decide. I was starting to turn red and my head was starting to throb. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point I started talking to myself, but I don't remember.

I'd grab a little shirt... and then couldn't find pants... or a pair of little pants, but no shirt... I really wasn't trying to make a huge deal out of picking an outfit, but the pressure was killing me!! I wasn't just going to grab anything to change her into, it had to be something I liked and she's get wear out of.. and I also didn't have much money so I had to worry about that too!

Finally I picked up some pink capri pants and a little tee-shirt. It was chilly out but the car was parked close enough and I could just blast the heat for her on the ride home. I just had to pick something, pay, scoot BACK to the bathroom, and then get the hell out of there.

Long check out line, of course, as is always the case at Old Navy... and the whole time I'm just PRAYING that the people around me don't see the poop and don't smell it either.

SHIT HAPPENS, but when it happens to you and your baby in public you feel like the whole world knows there's some nastiness going on and WHY ARE YOU SHOPPING INSTEAD OF CLEANING IT UP... if only they knew I had a plan.

I paid for my stuff then took off for the ladies room. And you know people must be thinking, why isn't she walking out the door why is she going back into the store... but you just have to say "who cares what they think who cares what they think" over and over again.

THEN... as if the whole shit everywhere debacle isn't enough, Kyla screeched the ENTIRE time I was trying to change her!! I had to do that thing where you very carefully try to remove the clothes and get as little shit as possible on yourself or on the baby... especially not on the face or hands because once it's on the hands its in the mouth, etc... I didn't have nearly enough wipes, so I had to wet paper towels like a madwoman, and put a bunch down on the changing table too.

She was squirming and screaming so bad I didn't know what to do. To make matters worse, we'd just come from the doctor's office where she had the trauma of being laid down on a cold table and poked and prodded, so to be doing it to her again in the Old Navy conctrete bathroom wasn't going to fly...

I managed to get the clothes off, then the diaper off, then she almost got her HEAD IN THE DIAPER but I wacked it out of the way (the diaper, not her head) and it ended up on the FLOOR... but I had to just focus on controlling her and getting her cleaned up and not worry about the stuff on the floor.

Two things were going through my mind...

1. Do not let her squirm out of my arms - she was CRAZY PISSED OFF.
2. Do not let ANYONE come into this bathroom right now and see the INSANITY that is going on.

Seriously, there's wet paper towels everywhere, a shit stained stroller, a yellowed mustardy poopy diaper on the floor, poop stained clothes resting on top of the trash barrel, and a FLAILING ANGRY NAKED CHILD in my arms. Fun times.

I managed to get the diaper under her bum, but she wouldn't stay still enough for me to get it on her, so I had to put the diaper up against my hip, then hold her on top of it and attach the sides while HOLDLING HER... then I put the new shirt on while holding her, and somehow got her pants on while holding her too...

Then I had to clean up the stroller, fold the poopy clothes so that the poop part was tucked into the other part of the clothes, pick up the dirty diaper, wipe down the changing table...

I wanted to ask for a plastic bag for the dirty clothes, but said SCREW IT. I just wanted to get the hell out of that store... especially since I'm sure people waiting outside the bathroom/dressing room (they are right next to each other) heard the commotion...

I put the dirty baby clothes in the wet stroller, grabbed my bag, baby in the other hand, and just DARTED OUT of that store.

It was the WORST poop incident on record with this child LOL.

I feel like

right now for sharing... only she would have called it doodie.

Anyway, now that I've sufficiently grossed you out, on to other things... but I'll put them in a different post just so the people who opted out of this one won't miss anything.

:)

D

Is that better?

2005-04-25T13:12:00.000-05:00

I messed with some settings and somehow different browsers read the CSS code differently and when I changed one little thing it screwed up and made the ENTIRE page black for people with Firefox, so I aplogize... I didn't know bc I have IE.

Anyway, I made it gray for now so at least you SHOULD be able to see the text... because I have a doozie of a post from the other day LOL...

I got a FUNNY Mommy story to tell later... and TWO road rage incidents (I was not the rager believe it or not) too... but Kyla needs me - she doesn't feel good. She's fine, just tummy ache, and we were out all morning... She had her nap in the car which means no computer time for me. Plus, I have laundry to do.

I'll be back later PEACE OUT!!

:)

D

SOMEBODY TOOK HER FIRST STEPS TODAY!!!!

2005-04-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

YES!!! FINALLY... Kyla took her first steps tonight!!!

My best friend came over around 7... we were hanging out in the livingroom, sitting on the floor by the coffee table playing with Kyla... all of a sudden she just LET GO OF THE TABLE and TOOK TWO STEPS to me all by herself!!! My friend and I just looked at each other and were like "wwwwwwooooooooowww!!!!" Then she did it again!!!

Then we brought her upstairs to the bedroom to get her ready for sleepin' time, and we sat a few feet across from each other and had her walk back and forth... she stumbled a lot of course, but she'd get a good 2 or 3 steps in without support...

NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM SUPER DUPER PROUD MOMMY TONIGHT!!! She is 1 year and 3 weeks...

THE CHASE WILL SOON BE ON!!!

***

So other than that excitement... today my dad and I went to lunch at Boston Market - did you know they have ZITI BAKE as a side now???? They never did before, to my knowledge anyway. It wasn't that great, I'll stick with the mac & cheese... which really isn't MAC its more like ROTINI & Cheese but whatever. The chicken is super and that's what they're there for.

Then we went to the bookstore and I got a book on CSS code so I can make my blogs kick all kinds of ass. I have the sweet graphic... now I just need to change the layout around... that's a project for another night though... I'm POOOOOPED and Kyla needs to go to the doctor in the morning so I have to get some sleep.

So excited Britney came out of hiding. It's so sad that I actually missed her.

;)

D

THE RETURN OF THE FOOT FETISH FREAK!!!

2005-04-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

Oh dear... I JUST received this email about 2 minutes ago...

Dana, I am a fan from when you were at **.*. You used to do a lot of crazy stuff for your site. I was wondering if you ever got to post the pictures of your feet. I am not some crazy psycho. I would just like to see a picture of your feet. I know you think that foot guys are weirdos, but that is not the case. I appreciate your time, and would enjoy hearing from you. -chris

By popular demand... er, well, rather, by the demand of one poor soul who has obviously been waiting a VERY LONG TIME to see my little piggies...

They are pretty frigging hideous if you ask me... but those ARE my feet, the only pair of feet I'll ever have (hopefully) and since I know they'll bring a smile to this guy's face (and Lord knows what else) I figured I'd dig into the archives and share.

A certain someone - who I will allow myself to reminisce about for your benefit right now - used to make fun of my "oversized supersized big toe" and expressed concern that our daughter might inherit the gene for the "oversized supersized big toe"... So far her toes are still little and cute, and I hope they don't end up having a FREAKING SIDECAR LIKE MINE DO!!!

Oh, and before the fashion police - who I know read my other blog at least - come after me with regard to those horrendous flip-flops... I thought they were cute for the 4th of July... and as you'll see in this photograph, they matched my equally as festive shirt, hat, bag, and skirt, just fine...

I miss Florida... and my friend Ashley who is also in the pic!

Ky-dizzle misses Florida too... I hope I can take her to Disney World again - seems like a waste we took her 3 times before she was 6 months old... here we are in Minnie's Chair I love this pic!!

****

Today was a rainy dreary icky yucky day in Boston!!

That's the famous Citgo Sign near Fenway Park if you don't know... and the Green Line T which goes all over the city... and the Prudential Building.

It was one of those days when you just want to lay on the couch, watch a movie, take little catnaps, eat junk, shower around 4 in the afternoon, and then sleep some more...

I worked. It was fun though... I will never take another airshift for granted the rest of my life.

I also had an interesting and encouraging conversation with a co-worker, someone I respect and who taught me a lot back in the day, and who goffed at the idea of me finding work outside of radio... That made me feel good!!! Goffed - I think I used it properly. Trying to expand my vocabulary here. Thanks.

Which brings me to my next thought... Ah, well, nevermind. Nothing bad, just something I need to do without sharing.

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa... I am kind of getting a kick out of doing that to ya'll now... because I know people check this LOOKING for stuff... Yes, I said "ya'll"... my Boston friends sure appreciate that.

I suppose "ya'll" isn't THAT bad, it's when people say things like "I'm going to come to your guys'alls party" or "I sure hope ya'll'ses have a nice vacation" I have to laugh.

I just did a google search of "ya'll" and this is what came up...

I mean, I guess in other parts of the country, ya'll is pretty acceptable... but ya'll'ses and alls of that shizalls... well, it's justalls 'taint right.

ANYWAY as I was saying to ya'll... I'm sometimes touched... and sometimes a little confused... when I check my stats and see who's reading... Like you wonder, do people read because they enjoy, care, like you... or because they laugh at you???

I know a lot of people who keep blogs wonder this... I'm sure some people know I read theirs and wonder, why does SHE look at MY BLOG??? But why do you read mine?

It's so bizarre... I read the blogs of some people I've never even spoken to... do you?

The other night I read a good friend's blog for the first time, and I felt the need to IM her the next day to tell her I read it just because if I didn't tell her I'd feel like I was spying!!! Do you tell your friends you read their stuff?

OK enough questions that I know you won't really answer... I'm just so tired I don't feel like getting up and walking to the bedroom. Plus I've been having CRAZY dreams lately... some nightmares...

I had one the other night that was so real it freaked me out... I was hanging out upstairs at like 7am and SWORE I heard my friend's voice downstairs... but thought it couldn't be her because why would she be at my house??? Then she came up to talk to me and was like... uh, yeah, you have an appointment at 9am, I'm here to babysit... and I couldn't remember what the appointment was!!!! It was so weird... we ended up going all over town trying to figure out who I was supposed to meet.... and of course I woke up before I figured it out!!!

Kyla does have a doctor's appointment Monday - and I wrote it down and put the piece of paper at my place on the kitchen table and LEFT IT THERE all week so I wouldn't forget... I always forget stuff like that, and part of my new and improved trying to be organized self means I WILL NOT FORGET stuff even if it means leaving a piece of paper on the table all week.

Q: Why not write it on the calendar?
A: Um, well, I'd forget to check the calendar.

****

Have you seen the commercials for the new Jell-o Pudding Sundae Toppers Snacks? It's chocolate Jell-o pudding with some "fudge sauce" on it... so I picked these up at the grocery store the other night... my dad and I took Kyla and yeah, we were bad. I got cookies first.. then caved on the Jell-o snacks... tried to scoot past the ice cream section without caving... and then pops is like "ya like ice cream sandwiches?" so we picked some up...

I am one of those people who LOVES sweets and junk so much that I can't allow myself to buy it all the time... so it is GOOD that it isn't in the house all the time...

Anyway, onto the Jell-o pudding sundae thingies - not that yummy. I would definitely get the OREO Jell-o pudding snacks. Those are BY FAR the best... much better than the NEW Sundae ones...

Just to make you even more hungry for some chilly creamy pudding-y pudding snacks...

I'd like to note - they do NOT come with a cherry on top - but I don't like cherries anyway. OH, you know what I LOVE though... those FRIENDLY'S pudding cups... I don't think they sold those in FL but they have them here and they are FREAKING GOOD. But they do come with a cherry that I always have to pick off.

****

So this is RANDOM and may frighten some people... but rest assured, this will NOT happen for QUITE SOME TIME... I was watching some Baby Story thing on whatever channel... and I was like ooooooh I can't wait to have another little baby. They are so cute.

If I had a rich husband who would rub my feet every night of my pregnancies and would be able to support a large family, I would have like 20 kids just because the feeling of meeting a new baby is so cool. Kyla was SO teeny tiny and perfect... not that she isn't perfect now of course, but I miss that little baby thing!!

Sometimes it doesn't seem like she's the same little person... Like I look at pictures and she's changed SO MUCH it doesn't feel like she's the same person... does that make sense?

I have to be honest, this age is weird. She's been extra clingy lately too... like just kind of wanting to be held. She can't quite walk yet, and she can't talk yet, but she knows what's up... She is doing the shape sorter now which is SO COOL... watching her do that is pretty crazy considering at Christmas when she got it she could barely pick the blocks up LOL... now she's SORTING THE SHAPES. She also points to her nose... and she points to the doggie and the kitty in her bath book!

****

Some exciting things happening for some good friends of mine... proof that good things happen to great people - sometimes it just takes a little while :) One is starting a new job where he is going to KICK SOME MAJOR ASS - and work with a very dear old (not as in you're over 30 ;) friend of mine... and another friend is going for a great job and WILL KICK ASS and make us proud!!!

Names have been omitted to protect the innocent ;)

I should get to sleep. She's been waking up at like 7am lately... NOT FUN for mommy who gets into doing stuff on the computer and doesn't get to bed until after midnight!!

Britney, PLEASE COME OUT OF HIDING... we'all miss ya'll!

:)

D

Kyla Does THE SHAPE SORTER!

2005-04-23T20:45:00.000-05:00

The yellow triangle...

2005-04-23T20:44:00.000-05:00

and the red star... and...

2005-04-23T20:41:00.000-05:00

.... green square!

It's a Website, not THE VEGAS STRIP!!!

2005-04-21T22:50:00.000-05:00

Ok, not that a lot of people do this - but enough do that it sufficiently pissed me off tonight.

I was looking for some little bullet clip arts... like, see all the gray diamonds on the sidebar, well, I want to use some different little tiny graphics instead, so I went looking on all these free clip art sites...

Only problem is they all have all these FRIGGING FLASHING TACKY ASS LITTLE SMILEY THINGS ALL OVER THEM!!! Sparkling and blinking, flashing, waving, exploding, changing colors, diving, weaving, poking, splashing, EVERYTHING. My eyes were going INSANE.

Please, a little bit of pizazz here and there is good. Too much is just TACKY!!!

OK, so, I am finally a cartoon. I SO LOVE my new graphic on the dirt site. It makes me happy.

I am going to bed. I am SO tired but I get so wrapped up into doing this stuff... especially after chasing little Kyla all day...

Oh, and I apologize to the people who email me asking why I don't "share" anymore... over 2,000 people read this journal. Most of them I don't know. Some are friends, some are not friends... therefore I have to watch what I say. Wouldn't want anyone to find out things they aren't supposed to know are going on... or have anyone get hurt... or anything.

:)

Me

Random Random Random

2005-04-20T23:32:00.000-05:00

This little pookie would NOT look at the camera!

I get so annoyed by the word RANDOM in people's blogs... no offense if you use the word "random" but everyone's blog has something to do with being "random"... Randomness, random thoughts, seriously - I read like 10... well, ok, more than that lol... blogs and half of them have some form of the word random in the title or description. I guess "random" is one of those words than can be used by everyone... but I think people need to be a little more creative with their titles.

That's why I'm sticking with "The Milf Diaries - Inside the Mind of a Babe with a Baby" - IT SUITS ME... like it or not, the sarcasm and the fact that I am a babe with a baby, FITS. I am pretty random, but I don't care to name my blog Random Randomness of a Randomy Randomite because - who ISN'T random... especially when it comes to blogging?

So - random thought numero dos of the day... because yes, the thoughts posted above about the use of the word random is the first random thought of the day.

Is Jay McGraw HOT or NOT? This is what I started posting the other night and lost it... and here it is almost 1am and I'm up writing about it, but it's been on my mind LMAO... yeah, can you tell I am lonely...

Seriously, he is so cute - and that picture doesn't even do him justice... and since his dad IS Dr. Phil you'd think he probably knows how to be a good dude in a relationship. He was on the other day talking to kids who have been bullied and he was just so sweet. Some people don't like him because he really does not have any credentials with regard to psychology other than the fact that his dad is Dr. Phil, but I thought he was super. I really enjoy the Dr. Phil program... in fact, I watch so much daytime talk show self-help let the healing begin stuff I think it is really helping me self-diagnose and whatnot.

Anyway, Jay McGraw - hot or not?

Random thingie number three that is random... Well actually I don't even consider this to be categorized as "random" because it's something I speak of often and therefore doesn't really fit the whole "random" idea mold... but I got 5,736 unique visitors and 3,537 new visitors to danasdirt yesterday. I could not even believe it...

Someone put a link to me on popdirt, Celebrity Baby Blog, a Courtney Cox fan board, plus I've gotten hits from Google searches for those forbidden baptism pictures LIKE CRAZY, and I am linked on some other message boards too... It's NUTS.

I am wondering when Blogger is going to be like YO, YOU TAKE UP TOO MUCH BANDWITH BUH BYE NO MORE BLOGGIE FOR FREE FO YOU!

Doing the dirt blog is fun, but it is a lot of work... especially now that so many people are coming to it... I feel like I have to constantly be updating and improving it and it's getting to be tiring, especially since I make a whopping 7 cents a day off those Google ads... I have no idea how to make real bank off of it - there's gotta be a way especially as it grows. I mostly do it for fun, but at this point I've had some grumpy people complain, or correct me on stupid stuff, or question my fashion sense because I said Lindsay Lohan's outfit was ugly... Like, I do this shit for free people - CALM DOWN! It's amazing what people will nitpick and complain about!!

Right now I have things about Paris and Nicole, Tonya from the Real World, Jen & Ben, Christina Aguilera, and about 5 other things to post but I just don't feel like it!! Then if I miss something by a day - usually because I either opted not to post it or just didn't have time, I get bombarded with emails about how I missed something! Seriously, there is SO MUCH celebrity gossip out there I am trying to weed out the best of it and not bore you with the latest on people who just don't matter.

Anyway, my computer is acting up and I don't want to lose this randomness of random so I'm going to go to sleep in my tank top and VS jammie pants... yes, it is now warm enough to wear tank tops to sleep HOOOOOOOORAY!!

Make sure you check out the Thrifty links!!! This woman has these two awesome websites for SHOP-A-HOLICS like me!!!! Only I'm temporarily in shopping rehab - not by choice!! And I'm going to get nabbed by the overuse of exclamation points police if I don't run NOW!!!

LOVE will conquer all.

D

Nice Day, huh?

2005-04-20T08:32:00.000-05:00

I am a little aggravated because last night I wrote this whole post about something funny and it never made it up... and by the time I realized it didn't post I was too tired to go back and do it again.

Maybe tonight I'll get on it.

Kyla is taking steps with me holding her hand... she walked all the way across the livingroom last night!! She can stand up and hold her little bunny or her dolly and she doesn't even realize what she's doing!!

Big changes are about to happen, but it's all stuff I MUST keep to myself for now.

:-)

D

The Virgin Mary Takes Chicago!

2005-04-19T20:44:00.000-05:00

I guess this is all over the news in Chicago and will probably make national news as well... It seems the Virgin Mary has appeared under an overpass on a Chicago highway.

The police have had to close the road to prevent people from parking there... so now it's just crowds of people flocking to see her... look at that shrine!!

I WONDER IF THE CITY OF CHICAGO IS GOING TO SELL THE CONCRETE ON EBAY?????

Seriously... I am not sure how busy this road is, but could you imagine the catastrophe if the sludge dripping down the walls of The Lincoln Tunnel in NYC started to look like The Virgin Mary... what about if the ceiling in the Harbor Tunnels in Boston fell out into the shape of The Virgin Mary? What if the steel of the Golden Gate Bridge suddenly eroded to look like The Virgin Mary?

It's just a little wacky to me... I can see what they are looking at... but it's just odd. I never did see that building in Clearwater, FL with the glass that looked like Mary... some jackass kid slung a slingshot through it or something and ruined it, but I guess that was pretty amazing.

Anyway, I've got a few other blogging sessions in me tonight... so check back!!

:)

D

Lacking Posts

2005-04-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

You'll notice this blog is kind of not being updated as much... I'm just really inside my head right now... I really don't want to explain things here - so I just don't write. Plus I've been spending my computer time doing the dirt blog and some other stuff.

Kyla is going to walk soon!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, she is SO close... today she was standing all by herself and she walks with me holding one hand. So incredibly cute. I know it'll be nuts when I have to start chasing her on foot - but at least once she walks maybe she won't want to be HELD so much!!!

It was lovely out today. I wore SHORTS. My legs are SO white it's rather gross, but it was nice and warm...

I gotta go.

D

Sunday Sunny Sunday...

2005-04-17T23:28:00.000-05:00

Mommy & Kyla outside enjoying the sunny day!

Today was spectacular. Not in the "spectacular" way Janie's day was "spectacular" on American Beauty... but really spectacular! The weather was awesome. We went outside in long sleeves and pants and I was HOT.

I was thinking... I should really put Ky in something cooler... but then I realized - I don't have sunscreen for her, and the sun was pretty strong. At least it felt like it was... so I didn't keep her out long. She probably would have been fine, but I didn't want to chance her getting a burn.

She's really trying to walk. She holds ONE hand and walks with me. Soon... very soon... She knows where her nose is too! I think I already mentioned that but I am allowed to brag, thanks.

OK, so I have to talk about something really akward but so funny you'll laugh... and I won't be surprised if other people sing this song too...

THE FRIGGING "I LOVE COTTON I LOVE ALWAYS" COMMERCIAL!!!! It comes on, and I start singing it in my head, and it is on ALL THE TIME... and then I stop myself and go "dude, you're singing about a maxi-pad" and then I shut off the little voice in my head that likes to sing along with it. It's so freaking "catchy" though!!!

Anyone else?

So I have been pondering life and second chances... and change - true real change - and how it might be difficult to change because people expect certain things from you - good or bad - so why change them... and it's just confusing but all I can say is I see a lot of things now that I didn't see before. Or maybe I saw them all along and just didn't want to. I guess that's what a lot of time to think will do to ya!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I was thinking about changing the title of this blog... LOL... but The MILF Diaries is so funny to me... I just think some people don't get it.

OK peace out I'm sleeeeeeepy!

D

More MOSH PIT GIRL.

2005-04-17T21:07:00.000-05:00

I'm ready to start a Mosh Pit Girl blog...

The MOSH PIT GIRL.

2005-04-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

OK, as far as I know, that picture is real. Just randomly someone happened to catch this girl dancing like a freak. I mean, it is downright scary... the position she is in, the look on her face, etc... it's been posted all over these message boards... so someone took it and photoshopped it into all these different poses...

I have seen it on this message board every few days... and different people keep Photoshopping it and it cracks me up... so finally I decided to share.

Click here to see more of the Mosh Girl!

I will post more pictures as I see them. It's just too funny to ignore anymore!

:)

D

Boo!

2005-04-15T20:16:00.000-05:00

Blogger's block. For real this time!!

Kyla's great of course. Her top teeth are coming in so FAST all of a sudden - its so freaking cute. We're hanging out with my friend tomorrow... I hope it gets warmer again soon!!! Today I wanted to go outside so bad, the sun looked so nice, it looked warm out... step outside, wind blows, BBBBBBRRRRRRRRR I said "screw this!"

Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!!

;)

D

MONEY MONEY MONEY!

2005-04-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

OK I'm a little excited right now... I just did my taxes and I am getting a FAT FAT FAT REFUND!!! Basically I think since I quit my job with 3 months left in the year, I'd had taxes taken out for what I WOULD HAVE made had I been employed the whole time... but not working those 3 months made a difference so I overpaid by OOOOODLES and I get it back. It will be a HUGE HELP!!!

Just had to share.

Our walk was OK but it's a little chilly... we stayed out for about 45 minutes.

D

Where is the WARMTH?

2005-04-14T11:07:00.000-05:00

It was SO warm out last week... I got into the going outside for hours at a time routine... Kyla and I would walk, talk to the other mommies in the hood, then play on the front stoop... but now it's back to chilliness and it SUCKS!!

I just don't really have much to write... sometimes I have a gazillion little things to blab about and other times I'm just not that into this LOL...

I was looking into some things online and I am just AMAZED at how expensive things are around here... living in FL and SC spoiled me!! You seriously have to make $100k to live decently up here!! The cost of living is SO high, but the salaries just don't add up...

Shower time.

D

Oh Britney!!

2005-04-13T08:23:00.000-05:00

Wow. I just can't believe this. I mean, celebrity pregnancy rumors are VERY RARELY TRUE... why oh why does this have to be real?

I was going to write a whole big thing about it... but I just thought better of it. I think she'll find her way in the end.

My little sweet pea is fussing so we're gonna go have some yogurt and watch those freaking Filthy Rich Wiggles!

The Secret Life of the Wiggles... What's Really Going On Inside Anthony's Workshop?

2005-04-12T08:40:00.000-05:00

So it just came out the other day (as if we didn't already know) that "The Wiggles" have become bazillionaires... They've got the show, the merchandise, the $100+ per ticket tour...

"The Wiggles" are a boy band for toddlers!!!

Anthony is to "The Wiggles" what Justin Timberlake is to "N'Sync" - the hot one. Not that he's really the "lead singer" of the band, but as a very single mom, the highlight of my day is sometimes watching Anthony's Workshop... This is based purely on looks, thanks.

What I'm wondering though - is there any DIRT on "The Wiggles"? There has to be. Somewhere there must be drunk photographs of these guys... Where is the paparazzi - I want to see "The Wiggles" in action!
_____________________

What ever happened to the good old shoe changing simplicity of Mr. Rogers? He didn't go hopping around on a stage for more money... although it would have been fun to see him and Mr. McFeely doing a jig to "It's a Good - feeling - to know you're alive... It's such a hap-py feeling... I think I'll make a SNAP-PY new day..." Then they could have gazed lovingly into each other's eyes as they sang "It's you, I like... it's you. I. Like!"

And what about all off the STUFF... Good ole' Fred never put out Mr. Rogers dolls (which would have come with 2 sweaters and 2 pairs of shoes of course)... We missed out on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood puppets - what I would have given for a King Friday, Queen Sara, and Lady Elaine Fairchild doll!!

There is nearly an ENTIRE aisle of "The Wiggles" merchandise at every toy store!

More on this to come... Kyla is now awake and NOT amused by "Susie works with one hammer one hammer one hammer Susie works with one hammer then she works with two..." right now.

OH - what was the name of the woman on Mr. Rogers? Not a puppet, a real person, long dark hair, she would chill in the Neighborhood of Make Believe... she was like the neice of King Friday - her name escapes me and it's driving me nuts.

D

I have an idea...

2005-04-11T11:10:00.000-05:00

For some reason the last few days I have been thinking of all these cool ideas... Not that any one of them is going to make me a dime, but the job thing is in the works too... I HOPE.

So I came up with this idea for a COMIC STRIP of all things... I have to talk to someone about doing the artwork... If I can make it happen it should be pretty funny.

My tee-shirt idea... Probably won't happen but it would be cool.

I have a post about something pretty funny drafted but I need the time to sit down and write it... I wanted to get the dirt done with my time this morning and now Kyla needs me...

Talked to my best friend for a while on the phone last night and felt much better... then I ended up chatting with a friend at the radio station (he was on after me) until almost 1am! He's a really nice guy and has been going through some stuff as well... so we got caught up. He's such a good guy to his fiance - and a good friend to me... and it made me realize there ARE good guys out there who actually care about women and their feelings!!

I gotta go.

:)

D

OMG.

2005-04-10T14:45:00.000-05:00

I have a new idea for a blog but I can't discuss it right now.

shanna rhymes with banana!

2005-04-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

______________________

Good morning!

It's weird... I just read over my post from last night and I don't feel compelled to take it down. I chatted with a friend last night about some things, read some of his blog entries, and then realized there is nothing wrong with having a momentary lapse of "togetherness"... Writing about all of that last night helped me. Thanks for the comments... and thank you to the people who email me and say what they want to say privately... I appreciate it!!

Oh yes, Shanna rhymes with banana - Kyla is watching Shanna Show while I blog and get ready to go outside. It is FREAKING GORGEOUS OUT. The one thing that sucks right now is that she can't quite walk yet, so she tries to CRAWL on the ground and that makes for some dirty worn out little pants!! I put her in clothes that are too small or already stained or worn to play in. I always swore I'd never dress my kid in "dirty" clothes but why ruin something new when there's already-been-spit-up-on-pooped-in-spilled-on clothes?

I have to work on the air from 6p-9p.... I'm going to hop in the shower now and get out to enjoy the day.

I want to make tee-shirts... I have some cool tee-shirt ideas - does anyone know about how Cafe Press works?

Peace holler.

:)

D

pretty blog, pretty blog...

2005-04-09T23:22:00.000-05:00

Pretty blog, pretty blog... (Sung to the tune of that little blind kid in Dumb and Dumber stroking the dead bird and saying "pretty bird, pretty bird"...)

Anyway, what do you think now? I got a few emails from people saying they couldn't read some of the text so I put it back to the original parameters... I wanted it to not be so jumbled so I made the screen wider, but on some browsers it doesn't work right... Please let me know if anything looks funky to you!

Big thank you to Riggs for making the graphic... I love it so much I just leave the blog window open all the time. I have to say it's one of the finest blog graphics I've seen. I saw it and I was like HOLY CRAP YEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

I mean, you know how when you ask someone to do something creative for you 99% of the time it's not what you were looking for or you just don't dig it... I just love this. Riggs is probably like "it's just a graphic" but since I have NO experience at making graphics whatsoever and getting one has been a challenge, I'm excited. There's something cool and official about having your own graphic... and having it be super fun, funny, pretty, and perfect just makes it rule. I bet if Paris Hilton saw my graphic she would say "that's hot."

You think I'm pumped now, wait until I am morphed into cartoon form!!!

Anyway, as for the rest of the blog... I did some SERIOUS trial and error to get it to look like this... This template WAS the pink one like the Dirt blog... I had to change a ton of stuff - but now I know some CSS... I still have some things I want to try too, but it's getting late.

I am not sure how I feel about all the pictures in the sidebar... what I want to do is frame them all with pretty colors and designs and make them all black and white, but I'm not sure how to do that... I'm learning!!

We watched Toy Story tonight. I love Woody & Buzz... I can't wait for Toy Story 3... it will DEFINITELY be the first movie I take Kyla to!!

________________________________

I think I spend so much time blogging and working on this site out of pure boredom and escapism... Is escapism a word?

It is now.

I feel a rant coming on... Well, not so much a rant... but just some "dealing delicately" with some issues. I try not to be purposely vague when posting because I think you can read anything into anything and it just causes problems... So I'll try to be as to the point as possible without being blatent. Does that make sense?

I have been VERY stressed. Like, getting chest pains again, feeling sick to my stomach, very jumpy, lump in my throat... I've managed to talk myself out of several panic attacks the last few days, including one earlier where I walked into a mostly dark room and really thought I couldn't see out of my right eye!! My head started SPINNING... then I turned the light on and it was OK.

I am sick of talking about my "problems"... With my friends, I am the one who always has an "OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT..." and "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW..." I'm always the one needing the shoulder to cry on and I just really don't want to be that person anymore. The relationship I was in caused a lot of it for a long time... so I finally did what I should have done a long time ago and left... but I'd put so much of myself into it that I walked away with a lot less than I started with and now I have to fight my way back.

Everyone keeps telling me not to dwell on the mistakes of the past... because I left in order to put it behind me and start fresh... but I also have this feeling there are some people who look at me and think "you idiot, you did this to yourself, you deserve everything you get, nobody wants to help you because it's your fault..." I really get that feeling a LOT and I try to fend it off but sometimes it's so apparent you can't ignore it anymore. It becomes crippling... as if you don't beat yourself up enough, you need to know there's someone sitting there laughing at you.

Some people are so supportive, compassionate, understanding, some people have even said the ADMIRE me and GIVE ME CREDIT for doing what I did... it is definitely not easy to do what I did - walk away with no money in your pocket... but it was something that - without getting into detail - had to be done.

It has been a while since I let some stuff out... so why not do it... I have to say that going through all of this, sadly, has made me see why a lot of people in my situation, or worse situations, don't leave.

It's humiliating enough to be in a bad relationship with someone, but it's even harder to leave with nothing and feel stripped of your adulthood... No matter what you've accomplished, no matter how hard-working you were, no matter how many things you did well or did right, none of it matters when you are in "survival" mode.

Oh, and by "survival" mode - I don't mean near death... but rather casting things like material possessions, your own place to live, and really - your dignity - aside and asking for help... Once you do that, once you do that thing that everyone says you should do and nobody can understand why you haven't done it... once you do it, you realize why you didn't want to. Because not only do you walk away knowing the other person goes on as if nothing ever happened, but you have to pick up the pieces of your own life, AND know that everyone around you either pities you or just thinks you're an idiot. I guess for a lot of people it's better to suffer and feel crappy in private with one person coming down on you than it is to face the humiliation of letting everyone else know you failed.

Then I just wonder... why me? Or - why not me? Why do my friends and relatives my age have someone and I don't... For a time I thought maybe I was just a psycho b*tch who no guy would tolerate... but I can assure you my friends have thrown some serious fits and their men still love them. Why did I get what I got? I won't say any more than that. Just know that words are easily written...

Do I just have a complex or are my feelings based in at least some sort of truth?

There's also a lot of stuff that is just plain wrong with certain situations. How did I go into something(s) with such an open heart and so much hope and joy and energy and life... and end up with nothing but unanswered questions and the knowledge that it was all a big lie?

I am not just talking about one situation either... there are many things about the last several years that I question.

I was browsing through my old online life... yes, a lot of things still live out there in cyberspace... kind of like a photo album in the basement you can take out and look at once in a while... and I just drive myself crazy wondering how it all went down this way... I feel like there's something about me that I don't see - something that some people like a lot (otherwise why would I have so many hits lol) and then there's something about me that people hate with such passion they can't stand me and want to make it known... I don't get it.

It's weird too... the people who end up being your friends, and the people who fall off the face of the earth or who limit contact...

Anyway, off the topic a little but not really... I was driving to work today - in tears (although I did have a pretty good show regardless of my fragile emotional state) - and I was planning a bachelorette party in my head LOL... There was something on the radio about a bachelorette party so I just started thinking about things to do for a bachelorette party! I know I'll be the LAST of my friends to get married... and even though there's nothing in the works right now I have made mental notes of some pretty f'd up things I'm going to make my girls do so WATCH OUT... and I was also thinking about how nice it will be when the time comes to finally be the one doing something for my friends instead of them always doing stuff for me.

Anyway, Kyla is awake. It is late, I should be in bed but I'm an insomniac. I'm going to pick her up so we can snuggle.

;)

D

blogger's block.

2005-04-09T15:52:00.000-05:00

You know you have blogger's block when you sit in front of the computer, hands poised over the keyboard, for about 5 minutes (which seems like an hour) and you can't come up with what to blog about... you know you WANT to blog... but you aren't quite sure what to say or if you should say what is on your mind... So yeah, I have blogger's block.

Actually, now that I started writing... it's kinda gone. I now feel that thoughts are running freely from my mind right through my fingertips and onto the screen...

Oh wait, no. I still have blogger's block. I thought I didn't when I was typing about my blogger's block, but then I paused again once I said I no longer had blogger's block.

Do you think the word "blog" will end up in Webster's dictionary soon? Is it already? I don't remember the last time I used a dictionary so for all I know it could be in there. Blog is a noun, verb, adverb, adjective... one of those words that can be used as any part of speech. Coolness!

It's a nice day today. I worked on the air from 10a-3p - it was fun. Every single person who called in was either working or spring cleaning!

I took a drive through Harvard Square on my way home, just to get the spring weekend in the city feel... It was nice, tooooo much traffic though... and POTHOLES. Potholes around here are BAD right now... I was on one road that was so bumpy I started to think I was experiencing an earthquake!!

I suppose with the tunnels around here caving in they have bigger problems than potholes... but whatever. At least the potholes can be fixed with a little bit of cement and a shovel... the tunnels are another story.

I ended up going to McDonald's on the way home from work. I was DYING for Subway, but the one around the corner from the radio station is CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS, and in the HOUR LONG drive home I didn't pass another Subway!!!

In Tampa there was a Subway at every other gas station... here there's ONE that I know of and it of course was closed!!! I just didn't know what else I wanted and about half way home my stomach started growling at me so I caved and picked up some chicken nuggets... I swear they gave me about 30 of them because I was chowing down non-stop the whole ride home and still had a nugget left when I got in the house... I won't be a MILF for long if I keep rockin' the fast food.

What else do I have... um, nothing. Other than all the thoughts that keep running through my head that I wish I could run from but I can't.

:)

D

what do you think???

2005-04-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

Cool new stuff coming to the MILF Diaries... this is just a taste :)

Do you like the logo???? My friend Riggs (fellow radio person) made it... I had no idea he was such an ARTIST!!! He whipped that puppy up in all of about 20 minutes!!! I SOOOOOO LOVE IT... pay attention to the one little detail I wanted "tossed" in LOL...

It's going to be changed a little bit...

I actually liked the other blogger layout better for the MILF site, but its a more complicated template to edit and I am really not too good at CSS code yet... and the colors clashed with the graphic... so I'm going to work with this and make some hit or miss trial and error changes.

I was feeling better earlier but now I'm just blah again. Damned if I do damned if I don't situations really kill me.

Hope you like the new graphic - I LOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE IT!!!!

:)

D

don't try this at home.

2005-04-08T19:33:00.000-05:00

Now I would think this is just some God-awful nutjob of a chick looking for attention and a painfull thrill... but the following pictures prove it just might be the next big PIERCING TREND - because 2 other people have done it too!!!

WHAT ARE THESE GIRLS DOING??? Who came up with this INSANITY!?!?!?

Yes that's a lovely bow, however - THERE IS NO NEED TO PIERCE YOURSELF 20 TIMES IN THE BACK IN ORDER TO WEAR SOME PRETTY RIBBON ON YOUR PERSON!!! You could wear it in your hair - around a ponytail or around your whole head, or tie it around your waist as a belt (that's "in" now), or hang a charm from it to make a sweet little necklace...

I'd like to weave a potholder, mind if I use your back as a loom?

Maybe the ties on their bikini tops were too long and they needed something to do with the excess string?

If I thread some guitar string through there we could make some real beautiful music ;)

If you were my daughter, I'd buy a bicycle lock and chain you by those rings TO THE STOVE!!

I would also like to suggest piercing your mouth about 10 times and LACING IT SHUT since you're obviously so stupid anything that would come out of your mouth would just be better left unsaid!!!!

Dana.
A MILF now desperately afraid this will be the eyebrow piercing "no big deal Mom" of my daughter's generation.

AAALLLLLVVVVVVIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!

2005-04-08T08:35:00.000-05:00

Have you heard that freaking Akon song that sounds like Alvin & The Chipmunks Sing the Blues??? Looonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody... I just want to bust in on it with that "AALLLVVVIIIINNN" thing from the Chipmunks Christmas Album... actually, we had that shit on 8 track!! I remember crying when the 8 track player ate it...

Anyway, the dirt site - and this blog - grow EVERY day... And people who link to me end up getting lots of traffic to their sites because of my referrer list so if you want some hits, try linking to me from your website or blog!!

I feel so bad for Rich from LFO... a friend told me last night he has leukemia. I posted about it on the dirt page too... He's a sweet guy and this has to be so difficult for him and his family to deal with. He's at a hospital in Boston for chemo. Definitely keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Kyla is awake... it's not so sunny out but I think it's warm. I can't wait until she's old enough to go on a little picnic or play in the sandbox, etc. Right now we just sit on the front steps and I stop her from eating pebbles LOL.

No word yet on the ex's marital status LMAO... Lonely, I am so lonely... AAAALLLVIIIINNNN!!!

Peace out to the holleration.

:)

D

on second thought...

2005-04-08T01:59:00.000-05:00

Blogger has been acting up SO MUCH tonight - that's why there are some posts repeated on the other blog, etc... so I am not going to bother writing. With my luck I'll compose a masterpiece of bliterature (blog literature) and it will just never post...

So goodnight, I need to count sheep and overcome this insomnia anyway.

Toodles.

~*The MILF Diaries!!!*~